Emotions

MOVED!

2010-04-17T01:58:00.003+08:00

Will leave clues of my new blog when it's ready :)

The giant feet is going to take small steps

Lazy

2010-04-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

I'm so lazy. Have not been reading my papers. Yet I keep finding more and more papers which I print but just read the abstract. Never really wanted to know how they plan their experiments and figure out the mechanism through the analysis of their data.

Probably I should start reading the methodology and start to be critical and question how reliable their results can be. Nevertheless, it seems I'm only interested in finding out their conclusion. HAHA...

Anw, my presentation in Journal Club is coming soon. Felling damn nervous. Because I need to present to a very formal group of people. Although the standard should be very low and in a "relaxed" manner, but judging from the possibility of having many questions being thrown at you, it's quite scary I would say.

Although my presentation date is on 17 May, I'm already starting to feel nervous about it. I think if I can survive this presentation, I'll be able to survive any kind of presentation in NUS. Because the worst presentation(in my opinion is the hons project presentation and UROPS presentation)that one can get in NUS is to defend their research work. But now, I'm required to present and defend work done by others. If suddenly someone asked why did they not do this or that, I won't know how to answer.

Understanding the flow of the experiments is already a great challenge for me, because I have to wiki one or 2 words every sentence. So having to analyze the data in it would definitely take, much much more effort(esp if it's stats data -.-").

Oh well, then again, If i really screw up, it'll really be good practise right? And I'll just smile and say," don't know la... sorry... I'm not even an undergrad... pai seh" and give my sweetest smile :Þ

2010-04-11T19:06:00.002+08:00

I just saw this on my bro's FB page:

"The world's longest distance,
Is when i'm standing right in front of you,
and you don't know how much i'm in love with you..

So shyan, although u are still very far from Madhan, we all know that he loves you. And I guess thats all that really matters right? All the best to you :)

Anw, I felt so sad today while giving tuition to Jun Jie. I can't believe I almost made him cry after the first 20mins. You can see his joyful deposition suddenly change to sorrow. I was like... Oh No. I almost cried on the spot as well, thank goodness I managed to control myself and complete the lesson.

Then again this method seems to work because after he emo there for 10mins, he was giving me 100% of his attention. Even while trying out the questions, you could see that he was thinking and analyzing.

Hopefully he remembers what is an atom, ion and molecule and the difference between Metallic, Ionic and Covalent compounds.

Before coming to this lesson, I was telling him I wanted longer hours of tuition and more sessions if he is not able to understand or memorise the list "essential" things(1 page only. so not that bad actually). Can see he did put in effort la. But only 50% of the stuffs went in. In addition to that, he was confuse with certain contents.

But at least we managed to clear those differences today. Luckily, before the lesson ended, he went back to his normal self la(i.e asking non-related questions and looking here and there) Hopefully I did not give him that much stress such that he starts to hate chemistry.

Anw, I'm really looking into my options now. If I can't get into a postgrad programme, i guess i can become a teacher to help the disabled. Personally I fell that right now, they are the group of singaporeans who really need the most help.

Ok lah... it is DBS that I shall go...

2010-04-10T18:22:00.005+08:00

So I guess my fate have been decided for now. It is science(Life Sciences to be specific) which I would persue my degreee in.

I don't think I'll go for the dentistry dextirity test or interview because I can't picture myself living the life of a dentist. I know I won't be happy. Secondly, I don't think dentist can save lives. Yes they help ease unberable pain and they boost confidence in people. However I don't think that should be the main purpose in life, at least not in mine. Even if it is, I would rather choose to become an educator than a destist, because I would be able to benefit others by nuturing and guiding them such that they are equipt with skills which stays as a part of them. However what is most important is I don't grab hold onto limited spaces and dash the dreams of others. There are still people out there who wants to be a dentist and given the number of limited spaces(approx 50/year) I should not hog on them. Plus I know how it feels to be rejected from pursing your dreams

Even if I decided to diversify into research, material Science would be one of the last thing I would want to research on. I can't imagine having to create "materials" to use to replace teeths.

I probably shoudl e-mail Tzuy to let her know onces the HKU co-ordinator have replied and confirmed that I'm no longer considered as a suitable candidate for the HKU MBBS Programme. Especially since she wrote a referal for me, I really should let her know what's happening

So it's science for me now. Looking on the bright side, It just means when I do my exchange programme, I can go to Swiss/Germnay to look for Shyan, Tzuy and Madhan :)
And not forgetting the tons and tons and tons of chocolates :)

Here comes the invitation for interview...

2010-04-09T23:39:00.002+08:00

Yes, I received the invitation to go for a selection interview and test. But, its not for medicine. It's for dentistry. When i submitted my application via the online application for NUS medicine, I decided to be "itchy finger" and put dentistry as my second choice. I was hoping to use it as a marker to indicate whether I'm out of the race for the medicine programme.

Since Dentistry is my 2nd choice and I've received the invitation for the interview, it just means I'm no longer in consideration for my first choice which is medicine. Right?

Sigh....

Wake up call

2010-04-09T00:54:00.003+08:00

Maki and Jx were trying to do surgery to extract cells from the mouse today and we all had the clear signals to stay away from the hood(just in case she explodes) However she came to me and mentioned that there were only 7 embryos and 2 were pre-mature and not ready for harvest.

I decided to open my big mouth, asked for permission to take a look and went in. Well not like she exploded, but when i saw the mess, I was just wondering what happened earlier. Apparently the 2 embryos which she claimed were pre-mature(because they look quite red) were still wrapped in their embryonic sacks. I gave my opinion and they tried to squeeze out the embryo.

To my dismay, that was when all hell broke loose. The way they do the surgery is like totally different from how Tzuy does it. Their actions were clumsy, they needed to keep getting new petri-dishes as the one which they were using constantly turns red. They face enormous difficulty in removing the liver clover. And it seem to me that they were just blindly following the protocol.

I know it's their first time doing it and there is bound to be some carelessness here or there. However I start to think whether Tzuy faced those problems when she first start? I highly doubt so. She might have been slow, or there might have been errors, but I'm quite sure she was not in as bad a shape as both of them.

I decided to leave. Can't take the sight of how they are taking lives without reaping any benefits. I sat on my bench and started thinking, if I was the one who was doing the surgery, would I fluster like them? I guess I would have been much worst. Since both of them are PhD holders, I guess they have some kind of skills instill in them which I do not have. Maki use to say I have really good hands, however I guess they are just words of encouragement and seriously, who cannot turn the knob or a microscope?

It was then I came to realisation that there are places and things which effort and hardwork can bring you or allow you to obtain. However there are people out there with talent that do not need to put in any hardwork to reach your level which you've placed tremendous amount of hardwork. I guess talent really plays a real big factor in deciding on what we do. We may try our best to achieve what we want or we many put in effort to train and improve ourselves. Yet some people just simply breeze through it.

Automatically I questioned whether I'm suitable to be a medical doctor? Do i really have the "talent" to pursue a career in this field. I was told by many people that the education and science industry is more suitable for me. Especially since my family history does not have any "incredible" people. SO if i can be a teacher or a scientist, I would already have been the best so far. Yet after going through the internship which I'm in now, I'm so sure that I don't really want to enter those 2 industries.

Yet I'm not sure if I have what it takes to be a doctor. I've checked the website for checking of my application statues to HKU and it mentioned that I'm still under consideration(CAA080410). I think my chances are typically zero now. SO i really have to depend on NUS to give me the offer.... I really do hope I do at least get an interview grant....

I'm praying... really hard...

Lab Memories

2010-04-05T21:27:00.003+08:00

Did not managed to speak to anyone today, other then the discuss with Maki, and the rather short conversation with Vin during lunch. I actually kind of miss all the old lab members.

I was alone cleaning the petri dishes when my brain started drifting away and I remember how I used to clean the petri dishes with Justin before he was about to leave the lab. I remember that the incubator was contaminated(but after some time, I think it's just cell debris)and we had nothing to do because we needed to wait for the thawed cells to grow. So we decided to clean all the dishes together by that mini sink in the lab. I guess this was the event which started breaking the ice between us. You know that day, he even went for lunch with me although he had already packed lunch to the lab? I miss Justin. At least he's now happy in Auzzie :)Hope everything is fine for him there.

After that I started to think about Tzuy. The first incident which came to my mind was the incident whereby she ask me how long did i need to use the hood and i replied that i need to split cells, then transfect. She then immediately cut in to say, Adrian, I'm asking for a time. Not what are you going to do. I replied sorry sorry and said 20mins. After that she laughed. I also remember the countless number of times her winked at me and how she had her "cat fight" with Dr sheneska(dun know how to spell. LOL) Most importantly, I will not forget her faith and trust in me that I'll be a good medical Doctor. I hope i won't have to disappoint her....

And of course, I remember Shyan. Memories from the time when I was a REAP student started coming in. I remember there was once when we were working at the fixation table, we were laughing and speaking in mandarin so loudly that we did not even realise that Maki was behind us. Until Michelle had to come and nudge us.There were also the countless times when we sign and screech our lungs out while we walk for lunch. The long screams of us being hungry on the way for lunch and screams of being very full back to the lab. The times when we do our experiments together on the bench and the times when we went Kbox together singing all the emo mandarin songs...

I guess it's because we know these memories of ours will never be repeated again that makes them sweet and valuable. A strong testament of why I should enjoy and appreciate everything that I have now :)

No more T.T

2010-04-03T22:47:00.002+08:00

There goes my HK$300. haiz...

Looks like I'm not going to get a spot from HKU anymore. Was not even granted an interview. Apparently, those who are found suitable should have received news regarding the interview in Hong Kong for the interview for international students are apparently held near Easter. Which by the way is actually tomorrow.

Till today, I've yet to receive anything or hear any news. I really think my chances is now zero and that I would not be offered a place.

No wonder the admin co-ordinator replied lets do keep in touch in the mail. Haiz....

Very emo now... I know I'm suppose to stay positive, but at this time I dont really know what else I can look at to stay positive.

I guess the only thing I can look forward to now is to hopefully receive news next week. If not pray that somehow there was some admin lapse and that the invitation was misplaced somehow.

Or I could think it from the view that nvm la, still got NUS.

Sigh, I really don't know what to do...

Busy busy day....

2010-04-01T00:41:00.002+08:00

I worked in the lab till 11pm! It has been a while since I managed to stake awake and work till the wee hours. Nevertheless, if only the lab was as strategically located as S1 BR, I would be able to just walk up 1 level, take a shower and sleep. Save the agony of catching the last bus back home.

Anyway, I was over ambicious to plan to take movie from 6 different chambers today. Managed to use 4 to get a total of 5 movies. I really still have lots of work to do. So I guess everything that I did not managed to complete today will fall over to friday. Hopefully i will be able to determine the correct concentration of Lat A to use so that I can go celebrate's Kenneth 21st as early as I can.

Have really been busy with Uni applications lately. Feel rather guilty to be spending time reading about medical stuff instead of the "papers" which I'm suppose to read. I used to wiki every single word i don't understand. However I just breeze through the lines and don't really care whether I understand what the author is trying to say. SIgh, guilty guilty. Will have to start re-reading all the papers again. I'll start with the Taxol paper :)

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day as well. GOt Maxi to do, follow by spliting of cells and then washing of chambers. However the MOST MOST MOST important this is that the results for my HKU application will be out TOMORROW. Actually I can check it now la. However I think it will just be pending. So will check it tomorrow in the lab. It will be more exciting. :)

Wrokload coming in.... Give me a few more weeks Please and I'll give my BEST!

2010-03-31T00:18:00.003+08:00

Dr Maki decided to drag me to be involved in the collaborations with Laurent's project. WIll be helping him make stable cell-lines. I think it's rather dumb for me to be looking after cells while he just do the isolation. Practically i need to do 80% of the steps required to make the cell-lines while he does the remainder 20% based on the reason that he handles fungus and that he might contaminate our cells. However I shall take this as an opportunity to learn more about the research field and to better understand work related to fungus. :)

Apparently after Ranjay finishes his UROPS project, I would be carrying on with the next part of it. Going to do local application of drugs to see if i can get similar phenotypic expression as him. Another Negative experiment. But i guess it will be good for me as well, especially since the first thing i worked on was on alpha-actinin and now i'm going to work on it once more. WOuld be a "pro" with regards to the protein by the end of my attachments.

Talking about proteins, I'm currently going to work on Aurora B as well. Hopefully Dr Maki's predictions of them localizing to stable MT is correct. If not i might just not get any good results. Then again, we shall see. We really won't know what we'll get until we try. And ironically at times when i find that the movie or the cell is ugly, the more Dr Maki thinks that it's cool and interesting. Haha.... Especially on how I managed to get MT to bundled itself.

Anw, tml is going to be a long day. Need a goodnight sleep so that i can have the energy and time to work long hours on the microscope tomorrow. Wish me luck people :)

Change

2010-03-29T21:34:00.004+08:00

I just realised that my name is actually just a letter "e" less the word "change". Yet ironically I find it so hard to change. While walking at Westmall scouting for Kenneth's 21st Birthday present, it suddenly striked me that I've been living life from a very negative perspective all these while. I been living like that for so long that I can't remember why I choose to live life so negatively. Was it for attention, because of my family problems or because I'm just born like that?

I really don't know. Nevertheless, what is certain now is that I need to CHANGE. I need to start looking at things positively and understand that this world is beautiful. Most importantly, I should not base my judgements, comments and decisions based on my negative feeling. I must really thank Shyan for the conversation last night(but afternoon for her i think. haha)After editing my essay, she highlighted that I expressed so many negative emotions on my essay that I guess is sufficient to make the interviewers question my suitability. I must agree that no one wants to see an "emo" doctor and for that I must first start changing myself.

Come to think of it, many people in my life have been telling me about this problem that i have. Starting from YJR, they always say I'm really "Ying Sian" and that my comments are only 50% reliable. I guess this is what you get when someone constantly think and harp on the negative aspects of life. I remember Christofle telling me that no girls want to be with a guy who is constantly "emoing". I guess i really must have been so stubborn and such a shit head to not realise something as direct as that.

There were also a couple of times Clarence would "tsk" at me after saying or doing some stuffs(although i can't remember any now except for Amber's mouth). My comments and arguments must have really been so negative or simply irritating then. Clarence also helped a lot for my essay, pointing out that the outfield incident which i mentioned really showed how negative and how i was unable to handle stess well.

I remember how Mr Koh once mentioned that JJcians always have the I don't want to loose attitude and not the I wanna win attitude. I use to think i understood it really well and i interpretated it as we need to prepare ourselves more and not just do the minimum. However come to think of it, I guess what he really meant then was for us to just believe in ourselves that we could win and that we, although from a neighbourhood college, have what it takes to fly.

I guess, I could start with my feeling for Dr Maki. After hearing some comments from collegues who use to work for her, my attitude towards her changed. However it's not really fair for me to jude her based on those comments, especially since she has never done those things to me. Although it's really obvious that she's making use of me, it is also true that I'm also making use of her to learn as much as i can and also to boost my profile. So I guess I should really change attitude which I have of her and change only after going through any unpleasent situations.

I think I really need to revamp my blog. It's really filled with negative emotions. Was thinking of changing to wordpress. What do you think?

My first paper :)

2010-03-24T01:04:00.001+08:00

It's not really my own paper and i must say i should really thank all the gods and everyone who decided and also not complained when maki decided to put my name on the paper :) haha...

Enjoy :)

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WFC-4YM7FMW-1&_user=10&_coverDate=03%2F15%2F2010&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=3eab109f2125c0367ae7134bbed48309

workaholic

2010-03-10T22:05:00.001+08:00

I just realise that for the past 2 years+, i have been keeping myself busy just so that i can supress some feelings which i don' feel like facing...

Why can't i just face them?

2010-01-28T21:18:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow is pay day, and i believe for the next few month, this day would be the saddest day in the month. Till now i still can't believe I accepted an offer which pays me lesser than what the SAF pays. Nevertheless, I guess it's the experience that counts. Met quite a few different people and I'm sure I've stepped on quite a few toes but things have been going on fine for now. Hopefully it stays this way.

The first person I know was Low Shayn Hui, rather i should say i reconnected with her. The first time i met her was when I was a REAP student back in 2006. During that time, she just broke up, but now she is with someone from the next door lab. She recently left the lab as she is going to Switzerland to he pHD at university of Bassel. I'm going to miss her, especially all the Noel singing and bang bang :(

The next person is Dr Maki, as usual she is still the PI and she is the head of the lab. I'm currently learning everything from hear instead of Dr Lana(my mentor when i was a REAP student), and somehow i foresee that this is going to be a big problem because her instructions are always given half way. O well, I've survived 1 month, just 6 more?. Anyway since she is the boss and my presence is like depleating her research funds, i cant afford to step on her toes because she can just fire me any moment.

I also met Dr Tzutzuy. She is a mexican and her husband is from Germany. I think she is super cool, smart and nice. I can't believe someone can have all these traits in one. She always wink at me whenever i walk pass her and she is always fine if you have questions to ask her. She is also damn freaking smart in a way that she almost publish a paper in Nature and she worked in MIT and Harved before? Too bad she is going to germany and I can't really help and learn from her project, but I'm just glad to have known her :)

Shaz, my almost daily lunch partner. She thought me Maxiprep and recapped the procedures of miniprep with me. She is the purchaser of the lab and purchases all the necessary stocks in the Lab. Most importantly, i can ask her anything if i'm unaware of. I'm not sure if i irriated her by asking her so much theory questions, but hey at least now we can giggle and gossip about stuffs :)

Then there is Justin, who also use to be an intern in the lab. He is currently waiting to enrol into university so he is back to get some Exp first. I don't know why, but somehow i feel that he has some issues with me initially. He does not really talk to me and he seems to avoid revealing too much information to me. However i guess things got better since we are going for coffee breaks now and we occasionally take the bus to clementi together where we talk.

O yes, then there is Vinayaka whom I first met at the BBQ(long hair) and then at Cameron Highland(medium hair) and now at the lab(Short hair). He is also very nice. However he is always under constant stress from Dr Maki. I guess it can be quite scarry from all the projects you have the plan and all the readings of the different papers >.<

Then there is Ranjay and Ivan who are year 3 students from NUS who are very nice. I always asked them about life in NUS and seriously, I don't know if i can survive in such a competitive environment. Sigh...

Finally there is also the new Postdoc Junxia. We don't really talk much, so I don't really know much about him...

I also met, David, Madhan and Anna from Prof JK lab. Apparently all of them are working on viruses. So fun right? Too bad i can't work on them. However it seems that recently they are starting to change their target to me now that shyan is gone.

That's all for now folks :) gtg running :)

My first locksmith experience

2010-01-24T23:59:00.006+08:00

I was in a hurry to leave home to go to Red Cross Society to learn my BCLS course. I don't remember my mum bidding me farewell at the door, but i guess it must have been the case if not i would have brought my keys and lock my house door before leaving.

Anyway, after the lesson, Clarence and I went to walk at the new 313 because both the sua ku us never been there before. We were trying to look for the fast food restaurant "Wendy" (anybody know where we can find it?)

As we were walking, we came up with a plan to watch the movie "Legend". We decided to watch at Plazasing because of the $8 Safra movie tickets at GV cinemas. While walking, I suddenly came to realise that something was missing. Yes, it was my keys. I searched my entire bag and all my pockets twice. We even went to MacDonald to have a sit, so that i could check it for the third time in an environment whereby we were not moving. However, my keys were just not there.

We abolished the movie plan(thankfully we have not bought the tickets), and went straight home. When i was home, the first thing i did was head to my letterbox, to look for the locksmith stickers which they like to stick all over the letterbox area(and they happen to have the habit to over-stick the stickers of their rivals). I called the person and he told me it would cost $50. However my padlock might be broken.

I waited for them at my doorstep while listening to my MP3. When they finally arrived, they wanted to verify that i was living in the apartment by looking at my IC(another good reason to always have your IC).

They took 10 secs to open my padlock w/o breaking it. However they had some difficulty with the door. My neighbour finally came out after like 15mins i guess due to the noise they created while trying to open the door. She then commented why i did not called my dad.

"We took the Key back from him recently." I replied her briefly.

Finally with a loud thud, they managed to open my door! However as they were packing up, they waned $60. I wanted to pay them at first, but enquired why was it $60 when your boss said $50 on the phone. He called his boss and he verified that it was $60. -.-"

O well, lesson learn, don't forget your KEYS!!!! Especially since when your Mum is flying away that day and your Bro is away overseas!

Then again there are some things i would like to comment about this experience.

I managed to somehow remain clam. From the point when i realise my keys were lost, to searching for it and even when i was back at Red Cross Society to look for it. I never realise that I managed to acquire this skill of being clam until one day Ernest asked me why am i so calm in such an emergency during Highnoon. During Highnoon, i was just thinking, Huh? this is an emergency meh? However after giving some thoughts, i guess it really was an emergency and that maybe i felt it was just the army so i was haing the Bo Chap attitude. But in reality, this skill has been locked and preserved in me and would automatically be expressed in times when remaining calm is necessary. I guess it can be a good or a bad thing.

The 2nd thing is about my Dad. Through out the entire process, I never really thought of calling him. It's been 6 years. I guess i really feel that i belong to a family of 3 and that he is no longer any part of it...

O well, I guess changes are unavoidable. It's a matter of where we want to head to when we encounter changes. But i always wonder am i heading the right way? Why do i always feel so insecure?

There aren't any exact duplicates of the past because things change and they don't return to their orginal states....

Just For Laugh comes to SINGAPORE!!!

2010-01-16T19:06:00.000+08:00

ROLF!!!! 12 Days of Ris-mas!!!!!

2010-01-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

2010-01-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

Looks like someone wants to be a bigger bitch than me... but it's ok... I like....

Some people are really dumb. Kanna stab also don't know....

GOod Bye 2009, hello 2010!

2010-01-01T13:32:00.002+08:00

Yes finally 2009 has passed and here comes 2010...

Many things has occurred during 2009. It was the year the Obama, the first black president stepped into the white house, the year which the iPhone Frenzy hit Singapore, the year Micheal Jackson died, the year Ris Low Boomz to Shingz stardom but most importantly, the year I ORD!

I must say 2009 was not an easy year for me even after i've down pes to become a clerk. It was a year bombarded with work, politics, back stabbing and a mixture of roller coaster emotions.

I will never forget the following happy moments in army:
1) The way my CC said zhu ba jie and KNS,
2) The month i spend my time in Taiwan for overseas exercise,
3) The non-stop working momentum in the office
4) The times when i self proclaim myself as a bitch
5) The day i though my understudy was coming
6) The night sessions Cha Cha taught me some basic first aid skills
7) The long hours of bitching and cursing in the bunk
8) The thoughts of all the Xin Ji Zhong plans i had in my mind
9) The time i spend talking to 1832 throughout the night as i compile data for BCC.
10) The nights which 1832 came up to use the inet as i work through the night
11) The Jap drama marathon and the live "drama" during army duties
12) The time when suddenly 1832 massage my back while working on the com
13) The teletubbies "oo"
14) The times when i ask Jacinta "how, How, HOW" but somehow managed to find a solutions
15) The times running to Sig and RSTA to clear work
16) The fresh out from the oven juicy gossips from 1 SIR, Div and CPC
17) The incident of application for president
18) The many incidents of slapping people on their face with mails which they initially send out.
19) Pizza from the most unexpected person on my birthday
20) The incident of Clerk kills Officer during overseas exercise.
21) The time when i was a PTE and I sat in the office to explain stuff when suddenly he pumped a CPL 10.
22) The night movies using the NS Conf Room

Then again the follow things will gladly be forgotten if possible:
1) The never ending BCC data collection
2) The never fixed format for BCC presentation
3) The admin lapse which i tio
4) The comment on" what were you doing all night"
5) The Ops Box problems during the audit
6) The fighting and tears with Mr Koh on Manpower Ops during Audit
7) The walking around the complex for signatures after the mass e-mail sent
8) The roller coaster emotions which greatly affected my work...
9) The homework which i did for someone
10) The very early morning liferuns
11) The begging of course slots
12) The decision made to sacrifice someone to save another
13) Usage of my rank to protect Bryan Cheang

But I guess what really was a stun to me was never had i ever feel so close to someone within a few months and drift apart within the next few... At the end of the day, he knowing more things about me then i knowing more about him... Amazing but true, that i let my guard down and be used, again and again.

Just went to see his FB profile. I guess it'll be the last... Time to move on :)

MOUSE KILLING HERE I COME!

2009-12-23T00:05:00.000+08:00

there are a few people who has been constantly reading my blog... I thank you for doing so...

But care to comment so i at least know who are you?

MJ~~

2009-12-18T22:41:00.001+08:00

2009-12-16T23:54:00.002+08:00

I can believe the first person i talked to after returning from genting decided to use me as a tissue paper yet again.

Then again, maybe it's because my expection is too high. I guess it sucks being my friend.

I wonder where do you leave your brains at, then again, maybe you really can just blank out and don't think....

2009-12-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

I have decided to leave the service...

ORD LOH~~

2009-11-29T14:56:00.002+08:00

The time has finally come...

Other then my understudy, there might just be another reason for me to stay.

I'm still contemplating if i should do it or leave without taking those memories...

What should I do?

ORD LoH.... but what is it?

2009-11-26T23:54:00.003+08:00

It is now finally my turn to say goodbye to the SAF. I guess everyone has 2 years of shit or 1 year 10mths for the lucky fit ones, and my 2 years is finally ending. There is a saying in the army which goes like this, "serve and fuck off." Yet ironically for my case it is serve and extend?

Everyone knows I'm on leave. Everyone knows I'm going to ORD. Everyone knows i don't have enough days left to clear my offs. Yet the arrows never stop coming. If I decided to come back and help out i guess it's ok. Or if the thing is really so big that you really need me to do it, fine, I can help even if I'm suppose to be on leave.

Interestingly there are people who calls me and expects that I know an answer at the snap of my finger tips. Yes I may be an ACC. Yes i maybe a course clerk and that it should be my duty to know everything single damn admin related things, but I'm not at my workdesk. If you need me to put it in an army context it's like asking your men to fire when they don't have a weapon.

Another incident which occurred was I received 5 calls and all 5 calls were to answer silly questions on how to type an e-mail. I cant understand why he can't just turn left or right to ask someone. Questions like signing off with thank you and using words like please assist are basic e-mail etiquette. Yet he has to ask me about them through 5 different phone calls.

Work aside, office politics is getting no where better. Specifically in my Branch, we are already short handed, yet we throw people out form our branch. The main intention of throwing him out was to make peace in the branch, yet ironically it is making things worst. I'm not exactly sure what is happening and I seriously don't feel like bothering, but if i let things sit, things are going to get nasty.

I wonder at times whether i'm worthy of my rank. Yes i may be able to work individually and complete tasks. Yet i do not have the ability to motivate my "Kah Kia" to work. I may exert my authority, but it would be like 2 hot heads banging against each other. However if i go by the soft approach, people climb over you(by the way, this has already been tested and proven to be accurate). Then again, there are chocolate bar bearers who i wonders whether they consider such things. I wonder whether they feel a sense of shame when they play FB during office hours while their man slog their ass off.

I'm tired. I want to move on. Iwant to get into NNI. But i really, really fang bu xia....

Especially my "understudy". He is currently doing things which i don't think i'll have the ability to managed. I want to protect him with everything i have but i'm afraid it might backfire and people target him for revenge which were supposed to be aimed at me...

What should I do? All i have is 1 week....

This 1 week better makes a difference....

2009-11-18T00:02:00.001+08:00

2009-11-16T21:39:00.002+08:00

Alright, i decided to help Clarence move his house from gombak back to parkview on Saturday. Breakfast was on him. He kinda came to fetch me at 8+ am and he drove me to Gombak MRT where we met Vernon and Jason who were also coming to help.

So bascially we were like loading up heavy stuffs such as cupboard, drawers and tables to the lorry and "ah lu" Claudin's friend would drive the lorry to parkview and we will carry them up parkview.

So basically this was the plan and we kept moving and moving. We made like a total of 4-5trips?

At around 13.35, we arrived at parkview and during this wave, one of the stuff we were moving was a special black bag with scotch tape all over it. I was told to take it from the back seat of the lorry and i should be careful with it because it contains glass. So i went and took the bag, and placed it on the bench, trying to make sure that it was safe. I remembered adjusting the chair to ensure it was visible. After which i went to help unload the other stuffs from the lorry and bring the things up to the apartment.

So after a few more trips, i left from gombak and went to meet Kt and hy at Valentino and went to Klee. It was an expensive but wonderful night. (anw this is a story for another time)'

So the next morning, i got a call from Clarence asking me if i've seen the black bag with lots of scotch tape. ANd i was like yeah, i placed it on the chair.... then to my horror, the bag was apparently LOST.

Initially i felt like, o lost arr, ok, can ask the management or something? I mean some kind soul should have seen it and return it mah. Especially since it's only some glass ornaments. Apparently, the contents of the bag was not glass, but rather Clarence mother's Jewellery collection. I was like OH MY TIAN!!!! And Apparently the whole thing which went missing is worth around 10K plus.

We then went to the Police Station near my house to lodge a police report. At the police station Clarence mother was giving an account of what are the things inside and she started calculating the sums and now it adds up to 15K+++. Initially they said they could not do anything and would have to wait for the condo management to look at the CCTV the next day. But i was thinking, it was best that we search the rubbish dump in parkview. So that was exactly what we did. We went to search search search and dig the rubbish dump area.

I think arr, all the gods must have been blessing us, because the very first bin which we search, we managed to find a black plastic bag with the scotch tape. After which it contains the tool boxes as described by Clarence's mum, but without the jewellery.

So we found the first evidence, and this leads us to understand that the thief was from parkview. We also deduced that the Thief was residing in the same Tower as Clarence as rubbish which Clarence threw were also visible in the same collection Bin.

We called the investigator assigned to us. However they kept to their stand saying that they can't do anything and that we can only wait for the condo management to show us the CCTV.

We tried calling the management, however as it was a Sunday, they were closed and we could only contact them on Monday. We initially talked to the security guard, however i think he is like super fucking dumb or someshit. Maybe his IQ is like only 10? I mean he kept saying he don't know how to view the CCTV and stuffs.

Lucky the security guard supervisor was on duty and he offered to playback the CCTV video for us. He identified to us that Cam 13 was Clarence lift lobby. As we were initially unsure what time, we left the black bag at the bench, we kinda kept reversing the thing.

In the process, the super low IQ security guard kept asking us if it was Cam 13. The following conversation where the only things coming out after processing form his puny brain:

"Cam 13 ar? Or Cam 9?"
"Ehh Bro, this guy how, he want go here here here"
"Ehh Bro, this guy resident i let him go in ar"
"Ehh Bro, delievery to Tower 3. Ok can let them pass"
"Ehh can help me take pen. Pen keep dropping la"

I almost feel like asking him oie, are u dimwitted or something? We are here viewing the replay of the CCTV and what we need is some peace and concentration and not your annoying questions or request. In the very first place, you are also a security guard, why is it that you need to keep asking your superior whether someone is allowed in or not, especially when you have identified that they are the RESIDENCE....

Okk so after his constant bugging and starting at the CCTV being replayed at 45min, we saw an old man riding a bicycle who drove past the lobby at around 14.40hrs. He stopped at the black parcel, touch touch it for 2-3 minutes, load it up on to his bicycle and cycle off. And the best part is, the security guard said, o that old man arr.... Then we saw him at showing up on cam 15 and he went into the lift....

We immediately called the investigator. And finally the police decided to take actions. They sent a team down to take a statement and take pictures of the things we found from the rubbish dump. (I cant understand why cant they do this earlier) I'm not sure what happened next as i left home to prepare myself for tuition.

However on monday after my NSC appointment and dental appointment, i headed to Clarence house. I met them at the lobby of the house and Clarence's mum was like damn happy. Thank goodness everything was recovered. At least that was what she thinks, because there were simply too many jewellery.

Thanks goodness everything is settled. However i'm now going to face bad Karma for tempting the old man to steal the bag. Especially since the stuff cost quite a huge sum, it is not within the means of Clarence mum's to say whether he should be charge or not... Hopefully nothing happens to the old man....

Anyway there is still something which i can't really understand. I heard from Clarence that when they called the investigator, the investigator said the condo management should provide them the CCTV video. However when contacted the management, they said the police should get the video from them. SO what was happening??????!!!!!!

I'm not saying the police is lousy or something, but i think it's rather depressing that we the victims have to go search for evidence, and chase people to get evidence and put it up right in front of the police face before actions can be taken....

Don't you think so?

I'mean this is a case which involves monetary items. However if it involves a life, i'm not sure if i would be able to pursue the details.

2009-11-12T21:12:00.002+08:00

It's nerve wrecking to come home and be greeted by a crying mother not knowing what to do or what to say, because everything thats happening is just as new and you are just lost at not knowing what to do.

I can't stand it anymore. It has been years and every actions he comes uo with threatens the very existance of my remaining family. My mother gets paranoid, super paranoid whenever he come up with some thingy funny which makes her demands this and that, resulting in fustration in me.

I can't understand what on earth is he thinking at times. I mean seriously when he is in front of me, he act like as though he wants to care about me, saying how he wants to sponser my education, driving etc etc etc.

Yet when i told him about my plans about going overseas, all he can say is sorry and i have to rejection my offers. The best part is he says he will pay for my education, yet he declares that i'm taking a scholarship and that he don't have to pay a single cents... ZZzzZzzz

So what if you want to transfer us the house? Can't you fucking WAIT!!!!

I'm not sure if my mum wants to harbour my hatred for that irritating mistress, but seriously, all the things that has been happening, that fucking mistress must have at least done something or poke her freaking nose into controling my dad.

May u die in hell u fucking bitch whore and may your soul burn in hell in the devilish flames under the watcfull eyes of your parents. May your life be filled with crossroads and agnoy that you would rather die then live, yet trapped in between, without being able to move an inch. FUCK U BITCH

Thanks for messing up my life...

2009-10-22T12:03:00.000+08:00

Love this... who cares what they think, just bounce bounce bounce!

Think twice...

2009-10-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

2009-10-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

When Deep Injury is Done to Us,
We Will Never Recover Until We Forgive...
Forgiveness Does Not Change the Past,
But It Does Enlarge the Furture...

-Mary Karen Reed

Can't stop thinking...

ZZzzz

2009-09-29T20:40:00.002+08:00

No offence, but sometimes, Hwa Chongers can really be pure irritance....

I met a sorriest bunch of fools from on the MRT on my way home after ymy MA. They apparently have to comment on the slightest things around them, from their wearing style to their appearence and th

One of them rolled his eyes after peeping at the DP of a lady's Hanphone as it was a picture of her boyfriends. Afterwhich he gave this wanting to puke gesture. I was like tell to myself come on! What rights do you have to comment on something like that...

I wonder if they realised, i kept rolling my eyes at them the whole journey....

No offence... but funny!!!

2009-09-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

2009-09-18T22:06:00.005+08:00

It has been awhile since i last came here to type something.

There were many occasions which i wanted to come and pen down my thoughts, yet i never had the courage to do so because of the controversial issues which my thoughts may bring. Better to pen them at some other places.

First of all i must say congratz to Clarence for passing the first round of trying to reach him dreams. I can't help but wonder what on earth am i doing to try and reach mine. I haven't moved an inch. Yet i continue doing this irritating job of mine at that office, never being appreciated for what i do. Sigh...

I have been questioning myself whether i really want to be a doctor. The most basic question starts with whether i stand the sight of blood? Would i be able to stand the sight of messy organs and gruesome punctured offal of people who are rushed in the A&E. And the most important question i have been asking is how would i face death of my patients.

I wonder if i would be able to absorb the enormous amount of facts and link them to real life applications. I must say i only managed to acheive my grades through the help of many many people. In the event that i have no one to turn to, would i survive? Would i be able to access cases by cases independently and apply whatever i've learnt.

Then there is the question of me sleeping within 15 minutes while studying the anatomy of the human body while i somehow managed to stay 4-5 hours wide awake and questioning the content while listening to a talk on DNA. And there is also the question of whether i made this decision based on the fact that i wanted to get out from 1 SIR?

I will always remember this phrase from that Doris Lim,
"We know you have the capability to do it, but you might not have the capacity to do it"

I wished i never have to listen to her that day, because this phrase keeps popping out in my brain whenever i feel that all hopes are lost and this is one of the many main big factor which pushes me to just stop and give up. What a motivating educator she was...

Then there was the episode whereby i was rejected the first time round. What if they were right that i'm really not suitable and that science is really more suitable for me?

Every single one of these questions are running through my head and i can't seem to give them an answer. I'm not sure whether i just lack that confidence or are these indications that this is just not my path.

Yet it's strange that i'm very certain that i'll walk down a path which allows me to see the smile on your face.

Just not sure which is it...

Soothing....

2009-09-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

2009-09-06T00:42:00.000+08:00

OMG

CMI.COM

*Faint*

it has been a while

2009-08-26T20:02:00.001+08:00

It has been a while since work managed to drive me to tears...

Bye Bush

2009-08-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

Remaining months.

2009-07-31T22:22:00.002+08:00

I have 4 months left, till freedom comes knocking at my door. Yet my sequence of events indicates to me that i can't quite or leave...

I'm tired... Sometimes i wonder if the work is really too much or is it because i just suck so much that i cant do them? I wonder how some people are able to do the things with such great ease.

Anyway, just really sick and tired of everything.

Understudy got stolen. Chief Clerk Leaving. My Dy leaving. New Dy have no manpower background. New AS1 thinks he's an officer. (if you think you are an officer, you will want the rights of an officer. If you realise you are an officer, you will use your powers as an officer)

Leaving me and another DXO behind. I highly doubt they will find a replacement for my Chief Clerk in time... and by then, i'm dead, very dead. Because everyone will just look at me.

Can i just scream and leave this madness?

2009-07-26T01:42:00.003+08:00

Mail to Haagen-Dasz headquarters:

"I just went to the Haagen-Daz outlet located at holland VIllage and was extremely disappointed with the quality of the desserts served.

Not long ago, my friends and i went ate the fondue at one of the outlets and we ordered a chocolate fondue. Then it was a twin fondue where by we could choose between strawberry, white chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate as our dip. We had a really great time savouring every single drop of the chocolate.

We decided to try to fondue today again as it left a really great impression the other time. However, we noticed that the twin dip was no longer available and there was only a type of dip sauce, milk chocolate. Nevertheless we decided to still have the fondle.

We waited 15 mins before the fondue finally arrived. When it arrived, i was disgusted by the dip. Because the dip felt as though it was chocolate juice rather than a chocolate dip. We made the matter known to a staff and she quickly changed it.

Nevertheless, a similar standard dip was returned to us. We then highlighted the issue to the manager. The manager personally changed the chocolate dip for us again, however, like wise, it was still extremely watery. It seems as those the chocolate dip was diluted with water.

We decided to pay the bill and just leave. However, the manager asked for another chance and we agreed. Although it finally had the right texture(not diluted with water), i must comment that the chocolate taste like nutella chocolate jam. We were told that Haagen Daz has changed their supplier and this was the new chocolate which you are using.

I personally feel that this does not make sense.

Firstly, the price of the fondue has increased around $10+, yet the quality has dropped. This alone does not make any sense.

Secondly, the nutella chocolate jam off the shelf from supermarkets would have taste much better then the chocolate dip provided as it is much smoother and creamier.

I would really like to know the reason for the switch of a supplier to use a lower grade product.

Its very disheartening to see Haagen-Daz providing such substandard quality products. I really do hope that you would revert to your previous supplier and get those better chocolates back. I use to have such a good image of Haagen-Daz, however i'm having my doubts now.

There were also other rather worrying issues about the fondue.

When i tried to picked-up the ice-cream, the ice-cream splits into 2. This clearly indicates that large amounts of bubbles are present, prevent us from being able to pick up the ice-cream and dip it into the chocolate.

The brownie were all clumped together. WHen i tried picking up one piece, the other pieces were picked up as well.

Another thing which i cannot comprehend was why the usuage of the twin bowl? Its like providing me with a fish knife when i ordered a steak.

Lastly, the fondue was meant for 4. Yet there were only 3 cookies presented.

I really do hope that Haagen-Daz look into the matters."

If they do not provide me with an explanation, i'm never going back!

Womanizer

2009-06-29T22:40:00.001+08:00

You either love it or hate it....

But, I LOVE IT!

Memories...

2009-06-28T16:19:00.001+08:00

2009-06-26T20:30:00.001+08:00

Pro...

Stuck in indonesia!

2009-06-26T19:43:00.004+08:00

I better blog this before i start forgetting the chain of events.

I was glad to be able to travel out of Singapore, especially with the recent amount of work load plus "suayness" which i was experiencing in the office. So when my mum asked if i wanted to go to Balai, i quickly agreed and applied for 1 day overseas leave.

It has been awhile since i woke up at 5am and last Sat, i did. Woke up at 5am, bathe and changed and made my way to Harbour Front via the first 963 Bus. Could not sleep on the way because my mum was constantly talking about thet myth wonders of some fruits and vegetables which she read on chain mails and books clearly sold for the sake of profit. E.g. "Eat your way out of high blood pressure"

Any way, met up with my cousin and her family. Our main purpose of the visit was to look at my mum's indonesia house and follow my cousin as she visits her indonesian relatives.

So yea, we took the ferry from Harbour front to Balai. The ride was 1hr plus and i talked with my cousin all the way throughout the journey. We had a lot of catching up to do because i seriously can't even remember when did i last saw her.

So when we arrived, we travelled to my mum's house and we kept travelling here and there to visit my cousin's relative. I guess what really amazed me was one of her aunt had her own Mini Garden!

It was like a walk through nature. She had almost everything there, ranging from durians, to wintermelons, bananna, dragon fruit, orchids, catus.... Hmm in the end, we decided to kope some plants back to Singapore from her and hopefully we will be able to grow them in Singapore. I koped a few mini catus as well, which now sists in the jelly bean container which hafashah gave me beside my screen.

Soon it was 5.30 and we had to rush back to the harbour to catch the last ferry, at 6pm back to singapore. So we travelled and we made our way there and showed our tickets. And suddenly, we were stopped at a counter where by we were requested to pay tax. As she the immigration officer was speaking in malay we understood nothing. However there was a note which clearly label 60000 ex for tax. My uncle then took out a 50000 note thinking that she wanted a bribe. In the end my cousin and I managed to convey that we need to pay 60000 each as tax. However when we finally got the money out, the ferry left.

In the end, we got stuck. So we took a cab to a hotel... stayed for a night.

Did a bit of night shopping though. Seen many intresting things. Too bad i didn't have my camera. There was this stall selling ramily. And children could sit on those 20cents ride which is powered by someone cycling. There was also this milky bread which taste really good.

Sigh, too bad didn't have a camera....

Then finally woke up again at 5am, to take the first ferry home. That was how i got stuck in Balai. What an experience...

2009-06-14T21:20:00.002+08:00

Many people pass through our lives but only real friends leave their imprints in our hearts.

I'm no Santa Claus

Deadline MISSED!

2009-06-01T23:39:00.002+08:00

Wah i seriously feel like banging my head against the wall.

I missed the deadline for the application into University of Hong Kong... Sigh...

Deadline was in April. Have I not been in Highnoon, i wonder would i have been able to make it?

Nevertheless, deep down i know i'll regret the rest of my life if i didn't go up to highnoon... O well...

Anw, i just confirmed my dad does not want to pay a single cent of my education although he openly claim that he will wiling to pay and that when i have problems i can gladly go look for him.

Yet all that he replied was, "sorry to note."

Seriously, I wonder how poor can you get with 7 companies, a landed property and a Mercedes Benz.

Even my mum is starting to tell me to not go overseas. I guess i should just stop wasting my efforts and time to go ask about overseas programme.

Looks like my last and only hope is to remain in singpore. Hopefully i won't get rejected the 2nd time.

Sometimes when too many rejections come slamming on your face, you just feel like just giving up...

2009-05-19T19:47:00.002+08:00

The exercise has finally cut!

Was working during the night shift. I guess whats weird was that it seems that i was the only S1 player around. Basically the S1 specs knew nothing while the officers were busy scribing. Only felt the presence of them for 1 day. Then again there isn't much for S1 to do. However maybe, just maybe the officers were somehow busy planning somethings. Thank goodness I managed to learn some stuffs from Log WO. Learn about how the cell function, likely scenarios of how manpower are handled and logistics are distributed in war.

Heard so many comments from different people. I hate you, you hate me. Seriously. I won't deny that i love to bitch, but i wonder would i still have the stamina and energy to keep up at 30, 40...

Anyway, I was brainstorming about, "Flesh VS Metal" this morning. An interesting topic i would say. Physically, metal would definitely win. If a car comes crashing on someone, the person would definitely sustain more damage. At times, it could also result in the lost their life.

Then again, humans have this strange power to grow stronger with time. Although we may have grown physically weaker with time, with love, with kinship, with friendship, with brotherhood, with sisterhood, with these feelings our metal spirt seem to grow and expand as though it's a small seed which grows into a large tree. And time would never erase these feelings which we feel and it would keep us fighting.

Yet on the other hand, metal rust, malfunctions and corrodes with time. And if we the flesh barrier can out last that time, we are bound to win.

So the bottom line which I'm trying to say is we, living things have this special ability to feel, which can give us joy, strength and the ability to live on...

Tissue paper

2009-05-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

I feel like a tissue paper.

Used and thrown...

2009-05-09T13:23:00.002+08:00

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause
I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Baby I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
My mistake i didn't know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings;
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause Im not your princess
This aint a fairytale
Im gonna find someone, Some day
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
Whoa-Oh
It's too late
To catch me now.

What if he comes with a black horse?

I'm BACK!!!!

2009-05-03T19:36:00.003+08:00

I just wana say a big thank you to Kim Yein, Ivy Christofle, Yee Hoau, Wei Hong, Yan Shan, Pei Fang, Juan Juan and Yi Long who waited for me at the airport till 2am just to welcome me back. I'm really very touched because even my family didn't bothered to come. Thank goodness at least you all were around. Although Wei Qin, didn't stayed all they way, but I'm glad at least he met up with everyone. So i guess it was an official whole gang outing :)

So basically after i left stepped into the arrival hall, i called KST. He told me to call Ivy. I called Ivy and she said she was sleeping. When i was about to make my way to the taxi stand, suddenly everyone popped in front of me. I guess i was really stunned, because, indeed, everyone came. Everyone except Wei Qin that is. We then went to a near-by waiting area with chairs to talk. Too bad my EC left so you all didn't get to see him physically.

So we chat, played facebook and talked about my EC(somehow i cant describe him like how i describe him to KY. THe energy is not there anymore) while we waited for time to pass. Its weird i must say to be the only one who came back from Taiwan to be taking the MRT back. Nevertheless, i still want to say, Thank You very much for being there with me and hope you like the Tai Yang Bing and Hi-Chew Lychee sweets :)

Later that day, Wei Hong, Ivy and I went to Kim Yein's House at around 12am. Then KST arrived and we cabbed to Tahman Jurong for PRAWNING!!!

My first attempt in prawning. I must say its fun, really fun. Initially we used the bait which they provided. However the catch wasn't good. Thus we took out our secret bait(SSsshhhh, dun tell ppl or secret) and the prawns were reeling in like nobody's business.

In any case, learned a lot on prawning. How to test the depth, and of course, learning where to prawn for the best big prawns. The LOBSTER PRAWNS! Have to thank my Shi Fu KST and Wei Hong for being there to remind me to be patient. Of course, not forgetting Kim Yein and Ivy for physically being there although they didn't there put their feet on the ground...LOL

After prawning, we went to Boon Lay Market place to have Boon Lay Power Nasi Lemak! It was great man. Then we went over to KY house where Wei Hong and I concast till 10am in the morning. Ky dad then cooked for us the prawns and some fishes and fish cake which we had for lunch.

Our catch for the day! 12 in total!!!!

This was what happened to our catch after KY dad did some magic to it.
PS: Guess whats the white yellow thing in the middle.

Expired Happiness

2009-05-01T02:23:00.002+08:00

Do you recalled the peak of your life whereby you totally went all out to simply just enjoy yourself. Making every passing day a happy moment which till today you are still unable to forget.

I guess every single one of us have this experience in our life. However, how do we continue to live our lives after that peak period is the most important question we have t ask ourselves. I believe chances are, many people would start emoing and comparing their past experiences with their current life.

Try recalling the number of times you've compared that you would rather go back to your former self to escape from your current pathetic situation. I know i have, many times. I wished to go back to the year when i was in Sec3 and J1. Those 2 are the years which i have enjoyed the most in my 12 years as a student.

Sigh, but i guess we all have to just learn to move on and start seeking the "newer" fun at our current sage of life. Because if we continue to look at our past, we will never be able to see our present and furture, which may result in more "fun" being lost.

Sometimes, when people come to me for advise, i just dish them out happily. Yet when i find that its my turn who gets stuck in the exact same situation, those advice are totally gone and not followed....

2009-05-01T02:01:00.002+08:00

I wonder if i'll ever regret not going out to LUXY tonight. Sigh...

I really feel like going to see how it differs from the ones in singapore. How the atmosphere differs and look at how different taiwanese and singaporeans club.

However, since he decided to go, i guess i shall stay behind. In case if anything happens, i'm still around to cover some stuffs...

Then again, its just weird to go club with them. Not as though i really know them very well.

I've decided to go backpack in Taiwan after i ORD and i shall go LUXY!!!!

2009-04-21T19:11:00.002+08:00

Its the 2nd day i'm alone in camp. Its freaking boring!!!!

Before they left, the amount of work i have was choking me. Now that they are gone, its like as though i have nothing, nothing at all to do. The parade is the same for the next few days, the movement chart s the same, and i can't really do the liaising of the R&R because those involve went outfield as well. Great.

Then again, at least i found a new job scope which i can perform. I shall follow the mess warrent to the other camp to collect ration. At least i would have something to look forward to. If not, its really freaking bored...

Thought of cam whoring, but my camera's screen is spoilt. Sigh.... How?

I'm still waiting for Lucus and 2WO Eric... come back soon... please...

2009-04-20T09:54:00.003+08:00

I'm blasting music off my Dy's laptop from my mP3, while being in the the Ops Room with another admin spec. It feels weird being the only person from the umpire group to be left in camp. Because everyone that is left seems so unfamiliar. Yes Although i have been talking to a few of the 4 SIR people, it just still feel weird, because at the end of the day, i only know them for a few days. I thought i had Lucas, however he was dragged to be out in the field. So i guess i shall wait in camp till Lucas comes back before i get to talk to someone.

9 days have past. It seems only yesterday that i landed in Taiwan(yea i know it sounds cliche) . I haven't really stepped out of camp. I was on out on 3 attempts. Although it was only for a few moments, the memories were still beautiful. Of which all 3 i did'nt have my camera with me. Sigh, should have sticked with OO, but he was with his signalers and its not very nice to steal their officer form them. So i decided to walk on my own during the nights out at Kenting. Luckily, i met Weikok and we decided to walk together afterwards. I can't imagine whats going to happen during the R&R, but who cares, thats a problem to be solved later.

Nevertheless, let me try and explain my experience in Kenting. Lets just say, i ate until i went bloated. I had squid, fish, duck's tongue and wild boar meat. I did a little shopping to, bought a wrist band(fucking ex, but i really like it) and an umbrella. The atmosphere was pretty much like an air-con pasar malam along a stretch of road with 2-3 stores shop houses flanking the road of pasar malam. There was a particular section which i felt the lightings were quite nice, too bad i don't have my camera :(

I must say Kenting is an area which is definitely definitely a TOURIST ATTRACTION AREA. The prices from every shop is the same. Its definitely an oligopoly. -.- O well, i heard Kaohsiung would be cheaper. Hope its true.

Thank goodness i manage to "siam" that officer whenever he is around. At least he doesn't arrow much in Taiwan. Although his working style is still very much as irritating as ever. I guess i can finally understand why i cant stand him. Because, he simply says that he will do it. Yet at the end of the day, he passes everything to me -.- And this is very irritating because, it cramps my working style, making me do things which sometimes i feel redundant. sigh...

As for the other officer, i have yet to have a good talk with him. Wondered why i bothered to bring him up to Taiwan. Sigh... However i guess sometimes it can't be helped as he has his own singal stuffs to do and men to handle. Then again, he's also constantly playing patapon on his PSP-.-

O well, lives goes on. I'm really dead bored now. Don't really have anything to do for the next 6 days. The worst thing is, I might actually not get fresh ration and the canteen is NOT OPENED!!! No food for 6 days -.-

I do have a task though, however to complete it, i need to go on AWOL. How to complete the task -.-

Sigh... Sian ar...

2009-04-09T23:06:00.004+08:00

Flying to Taiwan Tomorrow....

Hmm somehow it feels different. Hopefully I this wont appear on the headlines:

"Clerk kills Officer in overseas exercise"

O well, hope the other officer will hold me back. Anyway, didn't have any plans today. Then suddenly things started to come and come and come and my day suddenly became busy.

My Bro injured his foot again. Sigh. Ok la, actually not really injured, just that his condition has worsen and the relapse rate is really high. So i really hope that he can learn to TC of himself. Sigh...

Anyway, spent a few hours with him at the family clinic. While waiting for his turn, enjoyed listening to him bitch and whine about how long it takes. Especially when when we predicted that the guy in front of us would only take 5 mins because he is going to just take MC. Yet it turns out he took 40mins? Lol, so he was out there complaining and pin-pointing about what on earth the guy was doing inside. E.g. hey how is my hair. What Hair style should i Cut. How to gain Mass.. Etc etc After which we started criticising the clinic saying that the consultation fee must be really ex, so he was trying to make full use of the consultation money by asking ltos and lots of questions. In addition, they were also doing PT inside...

HAHA... Then he suddenly the clinic assistant told us that Dr Tay could hear us.... We went silent for a min then my bro shout, You know Dr Tay is still very pretty... LOL

So when it was finally our turn, Dr Tay explained to us about his leg condition. I bet he only understood 10%? However till now, i can't understand why is there water retention... hmm...

After which, went to JP while he rushed back to NTU to hand in his assignment. I bought my Cargo pants and then decided to SMS Hafashah, and yea just like that we decided to meet and had dinner at The Cheese Prata Shop. Its been a LLLlllllOOOoooNNNGGggg while since i've last been there. So was glad to be back.

As usual, talked and talked and talked with him about all the controversal issues. I enjoy talking to him about homosexuality issues and medical ethics stuffs. However i guess the highlight was that i made a bet with him. I'm sure I'll Win!(although he says he cant control the beast -.- but never mind i have faith :) )

After that we went to Coffee Bean and continued about conversation. SO we just sat and talk talk talk talk. We basically talked about so many things... From army to our lives to even more controversial issues. I just love talking to him, because he just keeps me laughing and laughing whenever he tries to bring off his arguments :)

O well.... I guess that all for now... I'm flying off tomorrow night and chances are i'm going to work like a bee at the airport and all the way till 1 May. But i'll keep smiling :)

For those who sincerely like to know, my flight details are as follows.

Outbound flight:
BR1286
ETD 0305hrs on 11 Apr 09
Reporting time: 2330 hrs T1 R6

InBound flight:
BR 1275
ETA 0220hrs on 2May 09.
T1 i guess >.<

2009-04-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not, I planned this post ever since last year. This was supposed to be my 200th post, but i just can't be bothered anymore. Been dragging it for way too long.

I just want to say, i've met someone in my life and this person will always be remembered regardless of whether in future we will still keep in contact. Although i'm quite certain we will.

Nevertheless, i've written lots and lots of paragraph of memories and experiences i shared with him. However i've decided to strike them out. Because i believe that they should be memories kept in my heart. Memories which cannot be describe in words. And memories which shall be my archives at my death bed.

Yes that person is Clarence my primary school, to secondary school, to JC and if all goes well Uni friend.

Its nice to have someone who has been there at every stage of your life. Growing up together and going through all the life experience together with you. At time same time building those memories. I'll never forget our countless movie outings. How we fight for the bigger piece of chicken in the school canteen. How we help each other cheat during tests. And most importantly, how we studied together through major exams.

I'm someone who believes that there is a purpose for meeting everyone in your life. And as for Clarence, he a character who has been there for me when i at the lowest peaks of my live.

Lets just say, if not for him i would have the motivation to study for my PSLE. If not for him i would not have worked hard to get into a triple science class and if not for him, i would not have gotten my As for my A level. And chances are, i might have gone on AWOL without him.

Lets just say, it's really destiny. I don't know why, but i just find comfort with him. Maybe that's why he's the only few people who i really share my problems with. The best thing is, i don't really call him and tell him hey i'm feeling this this this then we start bitching. But he naturally contacts me when the time is right. For instance, after he switches to study mode, i'll follow suit. Especially during the A levels period, if not for his bugging to study together, i would not have mugged for my A levels. And if not for that call he gave me that faithful night, i guess i would have just went one corner and cry and went on AWOL.

It's strange to have someone in your life who keeps pulling you at the lowest peak of your life. I guess that's why i hardly step out of my comfort zone. And that's why I hardly make new friends. Then again i find it very hard to make new friends because its always very difficult to express my deepest thought. And even if i finally do, its even harder to find someone who will really be willing to bother to listen. However Clarence is one of the rare finds.

Most of the time, he can't comment on my thought and problems however what really matters is that he acknowledge and understands my point of view. And that alone is capable of pulling me out from the lost world i was trapped in and make the correct decision and have the strength to carry on.

I don't know about Clarence but i personally feel that we have reached a stage where by sometimes he don't have to say anything and i would know if he's down or in trouble. And that even if we are to part for lets say a few months, bring the both of us back and we can continue to talk for hours. Believe me, we really can talk for very long. I believe our longest phone call was 6 hours straight?

Clarence, I just want to say thank you very much for being with me for half of my life :) Lets hope there will be more many more years ahead...

2009-02-04T20:07:00.003+08:00

I finally passed my Final Theory after my 2nd attempt. I thought i was going to fail because there were 10 questions which i was not sure whether i answered them correctly or not.

I know i should be feeling happy that i passed, yet after browsing through FB, I kinda feel abit sad.

I started asking so what if I pass? Its just a small test and at the end of the day, even if i get my driving license so what? Yes i can drive a car and most prob my mum is going to buy one too, but does this materialistic wants really make me happy?

I miss him.

I wished he didn't just walk out of the family. I remember i was Sec 2 when he left. At that age i was just starting to grow and there were many life experiences which should have been spent with a dad that i didn't go through.

Like going up the first roller coaster ride. Going to the movies together. Sexual education. Inter-personnel relationship. Teaching me to play Basket ball.

In fact till now i'm still waiting (which clearly explains most of my unnorm actions) and hoping that one day, may be just one day he might just bring me through the "life experiences" I'm suppose to go through. Thats why i always reject playing basket ball with other people. Hoping that he would be the one asking me to play and teach me. Many people might not know but when people starts asking me to play Basket Ball with them, i get this weird sad feeling. I use to be quite good at it in Pri 1 or 2. But after that i stopped playing.

Now at 20 this year, I highly doubt so I will be going through them with him. I'm a very lost clerk now, and I really need advise on how to survive my remaining few months. ANd once again, my clerk father is not here to help. O well, lives go one.

Sometimes, when i look at my friends who spend time with their father I start remembering some of those similar memories which i have with my father. Although there were not many good ones, such as always being scolded after competing with my bro for the front seat in the car, who gets the bigger prata and who should drink the strawberry milk instead of the plain milk. Not forgetting all the caning i get for what ever minor offences i do, such as going to my friend's house.

I do have one to one moments with him as well. Basically we would eat bread with peanut butter and kaya in front of the TV while he watches his soccer programme which i was never really interested in. There was also once he bought me a packet of sweet after i brought up a whole lot of courage and asked him(he usually doesn't buy you see and he would frown at me when i do or ask silly things).

Other then that, my remaining memories of him are constantly being scolded by him. I got scolded for being sick in korea, I got scolded for puking in his car as he was speeding, i got scolded when i told the stall aunty that the other shop is selling my text-book at a higher price when my father was bargaining. I got scolded when i failed my math test (and he threw all my games CD away). I got scolded for failing something and he threw my digimons away. I sure there are much more, but i can't remember them now for i guess being scolded by him is actually part and parcel of being with him.

Yet somehow, now that whenever i meet-up him, (within these 2 years he is actually asking me out for b'days etc) I don't find that feeling which i'm looking for. I act smart, clam and poise yet inside i just want to hug and bash him up.

I guess what i'm really looking for is a role model to help me shape my thoughts, my feelings and mmy opinions. Yes we should have our own opinion. HOwever, i am someone with no grounds and base to guide me to shape my opinions and every time everything seems weird and dangerous. Then i start wondering next time would i be a good role model for my children or my students? Will I really be able to help others? I don't know.

I finally understand why 3SG Derrick told me that i'll regret leaving 1 SIR. Because I'll loose a good person to guide me. Someone to enhance my believes and help shape me into someone. I will never forget my PS in 1 SIR, Wee Kok, not because of all the economics and money things he teaches me (I don't dare to tell him, but actually what he tells me I know liaoz). But it is by the way he tells me the things, it's really a clear reflection of what someone should follow.

It is not that i don't see good role models in the brigade its just that when i look at how my DY and AS1 handles 3-4 people and how OOO handles 50+ i can just shake my head.

Alright i'm really side tracking here and there, from driving to my life then to army then to my life and back to army again -.-

I really miss him, or may be i should say i really miss a role model father.

Its easy to love someone deeply, because all you have to do is keep stalking.

Its easy to hate someone deeply, because you can just go out there and kill him.

But, its not easy to love and hate someone, deeply.

2009-02-01T18:24:00.001+08:00

It feels very heart warming to go back to your old school and see how much it has grown. To become a better and more condusive place for an education to take place. Yes although i do feel jealous that there are many things which are currently present are stuffs which i think i would really want.

Lets just say for instance A JAMMING STUDIO!!!!!!!!

I can't believe the school actually pump in money for this. Yea the room is quite small and obviously the mixer inside is not of top quality, but at least its an area where studets can try and explore their talents. Feel how it feels like being a recording artist.

I shall let the pictures do the talking.

Cool right?

How i wish i am a YISS student now. haha

2009-01-26T01:15:00.002+08:00

I just had the best reunion dinner i have in years. I remeber every year there are bound to be some cock ups here or there. Be it after the dinner or before the dinner. Apparently this year, we did everything together, as a family. And I'm glad i had this experience. May be thats why i had a horrendous week, so as to enjoy and appreciate my family today even more.

THe 3 of yes, yes my Mum, Bro and I went shopping. THey decided to go to westmall with me to do some last minute shopping of my CNY clothes.

I was suppose to get my DBH tees on sat, but apparently they didn't knock on my door. So I would have to go to the nearest post-office to collect the parcel. The worst thing is, the earliest i can do this is coming wed, chu 3.

THe 3 of us walked almost every apparel shop in Westmall. However, we ended up in giordano and bought tees, which were pretty cheap. Bought 1 for $10 :)

After that we went to my granny house. Thank goodness my dad's not around. If not there will be a clash.

SO yea, it was a peaceful happy and very family new year eve for me :)

2009-01-23T23:14:00.016+08:00

It has been a demoralising week for me. Decided to go through my past photos to help cheer me up. So i decided to post them online too as archives. Enjoy :)

2009-01-22T22:21:00.003+08:00

I think it is really ironic that a student is being reprimanded for smoking by the discipline master who he himself is a heavy smoker. Yet no one will find the discipline master at fault for they don't see him smoke.

I guess I finally understand Bryan's theory of not working.

Regardless it was intentional or not, damage was done and it is a damage which cannot be reverse. Worst still, the matter was worsen by making me walk all over the place.

I feel like asking CPT Henry to revoke my best solider award. Its just plain stupid to publicise someone's mistake to the entire world in the morning and give him the best solider award the very same evening.

Worst still, getting the award because there were no competitors.

I mean if a person scores 39/100 and tops the class, does that mean he should be rewarded? In addition the reward was suppose to motivate others to work harder.

It just dosent make any sense.

2009-01-14T20:38:00.002+08:00

The recent O levels results has just been released.

I don't know if its because i don't read the papers or iszt only recently then its the trend to jump from O to a degree. I mean seriously, why would someone who has a few As go destroy their life by going to some uni overseas which don't have much credits. Yes it does save a whole lot of time and especially since in Singapore time is of an essence. However, i still think its a waste of your 3 years because at the end of the day, you are getting a worthless paper.

Unless you are thinking of immigrating to that country and staying there forever or you feel that you are just too dumb to survive a singapore poly or jc, then by all means go there and waste your parents money.

Seriously i mean after looking at the programmes they are offering, they are programmes which are not that diffculite to enrol in Singapore's uni. Be it the 3 main unis or other provite institudes like MDIS, PSB etc etc...

ALthough i can't think of anyone who i know have just receive their O level results, i still want to comment on whether 1 should choose the JC or Poly route.

If you want to grow up, go for a JC.

If you want to continue to live your childhood live for a few more years, go to a Poly.

Personally i feel that after my 2 years in JC, i've changed alot. Some for the better, and of course some not so good. ALl thanks to 1 subject, GP. Its a subject which i don't really like, its a subject which i feels robs my childhood, yets its the subject i feel will differentiate the better ones from the cream of the crop.

Ever since i left JJC, i've been so much more critical. People in the working society will feel that this is good because you think which makes you valuable. Yet it is because you think too much, whichs make you loose the very meaning of a joyful life. Believe it or not, most people enjoy their childhood life (unless you were tortured or something as a child).

At least i know I did, with my complete family, not worrying about studies and in fact not worrying and thinking about almost everything. A very care-free life i lead. I took things literally. I was so gullible and naive, which makes life simple, pure, fun, meaningful and truthful. However, GP took everything away. I started asking questions. I started thinking about the true intentions of things.

For instances watching movies. In the past i would just laugh my head-off if i'm watching a comedy. Yest now when i watch one, i never fail to step back to see what the author was trying to say. Trying to see the whole picture. And this, KILLS all the fun.

Not so long ago, when i watch SexDrive with Seb and gang, there was this part where a white police officer tried zapping the lead star with an electrocuter while he is in this thick costume. Sure I laughed out loud. Yet in the next seconds thought like discrimination, inefficiencies of law, loopholes in policies and limitations of our police force starts running through my mind. Then, i felt sad.

By saying so much about GP, i'm not saying that going to a poly is useless and that you don't mature and stuffs. Its just that you get to keep some part of your childhood for more years. Something i didn't realise is important till now.

I guess this explains my childish actions when i'm with my childhood friends.

I have a many friends in poly and I feel that they lead happier lives.

A few weeks ago, i met Ms fong and i thought she was crazy when she told keetat that he should have gone to a poly instead. Now i finally understand why after giving much thought. I guess shes right.

Emo. I miss yiling, cc, Seb, Ken, Jon, SJ, Clar and Heng. Though we still talk here and there and infact there was a period that we kept meeting, yet i still miss you all. I think ts because i can see my happy moments :)

O yea A level results comming out soon bah.

Good luck ar, Daphne, Keetat and Siqian. :)

2009-01-01T02:59:00.004+08:00

Happy new year peeps :)

If you remember, i wanted to blog about someone special in my life, however i haven't reach my 200th post yet. So i guess i shall wait for awhile more. Then i shall blog it.

Anw here are 2 photos taken this new year. One is an unglam shot, but i don't think he will mind, especially since he don't visit my blog. SO he will never know... HAHAHA

Me and YL

Ok, my guilty conscious is killing me. decided to remove this pic. But, shall send him the photo online. :) HAHAHA

Once again, happy new year!!!!!!!

Help

2008-12-30T00:05:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps,

I need your HELP

I know there are a few of you who just read my blog and don't comment, but i hope you do this time.

I'm coaching my cousin recently and i think she copied the answer script for her work which i assign to her.

I'm not very sure if its really the case, but she her first 3 qns were perfectly correct(which should not have been the case). However for qns 4 in particular, the answer key is wrong and her workings are are the same as the answer key. When i ask her to explain her steps, she told me careless mistakes.

Sigh, so i need you help now.

Should i tell her mum?

Just help me by voting k? if can provide a reason.

If you feel uncomfortable, just put an anonymous name with a yes or no answer.

Thanks.

Photos

2008-12-29T23:53:00.007+08:00

Here are some random photos from my phone:

mushroom soup from Vis a Vis with a slice of truffle :)

Omg the print on this plastic bag is so damn wrong la -.-

*unglam photo of ivy removed*

Hmm are they trying to act the can can girls? If i'm not wrong, they need to be of... Ehem ehem....

CNY shopping

2008-12-29T23:30:00.005+08:00

Took my CNY shoes out for seasoning today. Yay!!! Now my CNY shoe is seasoned, i'm ready for CNY.

Didnt get any tee or jeans or anything. Have to be on a budget.

Will be going JB tomorrow and might be getting tees from design by humans. So if there is really something i like very much, then i'll have new clothes, if not its just a simple CNY in my extremely complex family.

O yea, i have to thank CC for shopping with me for my CNY shoes. It cost $122 (although steep but i really needed one), my very first pair of gai gai shoes.

Yup so i have to thank CC for giving me all the advice. Especailly since we travelled the WHOLE DAY for the sake of 1 pair of shoes. We travelled from queenstown shopping centre to town. We typically walked the whole of town can.

There was this pair of adidas shoe which i really like but they didn't have my size. SO we had to keep finding especailly since we both cannot agree on a nice deisgn and even if we did, there was no size for my elephant leg. Untill we finally reached out last stop, Taka.

Yup it was at Ngee Ann City's puma shop which i finally settled on my shoe.

By then it was like 8+ le. SO we really shopped for the whole damn day man -.-

Here is a little preview:

YUp so thank you CC for the company the whole day and your honest opinion which not many people dare to say. ANd more importantly thanks for being a friend.

For a true friend would tell you when a vegetable is stuck between your teeth. :)

what comes around goes around

2008-12-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

Now that sports has been increasing gaining popularity amoung nationalities, it becomes a mean of competition. Thus making war redondent.

However since what comes around goes around,especailly where views constantly changes which results in paradiagm shifts, would there be a day whereby sports becomes a viable reason for war?

After which, war becomes so common that it bring us men back to my very begaining the waring era.

The sinnister of the circle.

2008-12-24T12:17:00.002+08:00

haiz, i cant stand those 3 gu 6 po aunties who keep on gossiping and gossiping about other peoples life. Seriously, one aunty came and approach me and ask me where is my dad. I was like huh? I told her he went overseas and left.

Seriously, i'm not even close to you can. Why on earth must i explain my family stuffs to you? Yea i know i tell my friends and blog about it, but at least i know its people who i can trust (except for those who purposely come and find my blog to mock at me).

Sometimes its these gossips which kills.

2008-12-24T01:23:00.001+08:00

I know its not very nice to laugh at people's singing especailly when my own is not really that good. However, its just too FUNNY!

Haha. Thanks Herrick

2008-12-22T02:21:00.002+08:00

I've seen a few sentances recently and they are really getting stuck on my head.

I try to pen them here to keep memories of them. SO next time i can come back and visit and read them i can understand how i was feeling now for wanting to remember these phrases so much.

The first phrase.

When you pluck one dandelion, 2 more will grow in the vicinity.

How true. For everything i have done in my life, when we solve one problem, more just come back at you. Yes i get tired, in fact, i think everyone gets tired, but what can we do? I guess its always a matter of how we view the problems when more shits just come our way.

Anything that you want is definitely worth fighting for.

I guess it true for most things. But sometimes what happens when the only way to get what we really want is to not fighting for it but setting it free.
I seriously don't know if i should try again. What happens if it repeats itself?

Is it really navie for wanting to believe in someone? No thats faith.

I feel this is very specials as after i heard it, it gives me this very special feeling as it seems to be able to apply in my daily life routine.

2008-12-22T01:42:00.002+08:00

I seriously can't teach pri school kids.

I think if they were to assign me to a pri school after i finish my NIE training, i would rather break my bond. Seriously.

I just don't know how to make them think. Because to me, everything they are suppose to know are basic. To me what they need to know are already stuffs in their simplest form, so simple that no question should be asked about it. Thus the stuffs are like that and its FREAKING HARD to PROVE those simple basic stuffs.

For instance, its hard to show them why they have to flip the fraction when they are dividing 2 fractions. Its hard to explain why when 2 man takes lesser time to complete a job done by only 1 man. Its hard to prove why 0.2 is 2/10 while 0.21 is 21/100.

Haiz.

Even if you manage to prove it(seriously i really plugin numbers, do pract by washing bowel etc etc), there are just too many distraction for the student.

Especially when i don't know if its because the student is not listening in class or their teach really suck by teaching nothing.

Of course, the student character also plays a part. Especially if the student is STUBBORN.

Arrrghhhh.....

I mean seriously my cousin is so freaking stubborn. SHe just totally shuts off when she thinks she is right. So you have to prove it 4-5 times before she is willing to take a look(cos she gets irritated when u repeat). Haiz.

PLus i really dont understand what on earth is she saying. Everytime i ask her a qns, her reply is somethign which i totally don't understand. AND she has the cheek to tell me english not important and she don't like -.-

There is this question which is like A bought 12 melons and 4 apples. B bought 4 melons and 12 apples. A pay $14.40 more then B. Each apples cost $0.90.

She just don't understand why $14.40 is the cost of 8 melons MINUS 8 apples.

SHe kept insisting that $14.40 is 8 melons + 8 apples.

Haiz. Have to take out coins and items then to prove to her. ZZZZZZZZZZ. Took like 45 mins to explain this concept.

Lets just hope my effot don't go to waste. I serisouly hope that she understands. Because sometimes when i test if she truely uderstand, she will then answer by saying o Cos u say de mah. Taking the above exmaple.

After explain for 20mins why $14.40 is 8 melons minus 8 apples. I ask her to explain why.

Her reply was, because u said so mah.

I almost fainted at that moment. Wasted 20mins of my life, breath and energy.

It going to be a rough year coaching her for her PSLE. However i hope she will do well. So i can use her as an example to go save my another cousin who is really in deep shit.

His standard really is super super super jia lat -.-

Haiz......

Sins.

2008-12-18T22:09:00.002+08:00

I have Sined. Its is a sin for NSF to work after 5pm.

I have sined so much that they can never be washed off me.

2008-12-13T21:23:00.001+08:00

Sigh, the war is officially going to happen

I just cant understand why is it that even when you have a pistol in your hand and loaded with bullets, you still don't want to fire back to defend youself when someone is pointing a knife on your throat.

Yes i understand that there are feelings, but no one said you have to shoot the person on the head. Shoot the hand la, leg la, shoulder la also can mah. As long as you immobalise him and keep yourself safe, why can't you just shoot?

I want to take back whats mine.

2008-12-13T15:21:00.002+08:00

I can't believe this is happening. It is really like a drama series. I guess every family have their own problems.

Just didn't expect mine to be the sort where one member of my family is willing to go all out to kill the rest.

Anyone have friends studying law or is a lawyer?

2008-12-10T19:50:00.002+08:00

Haiz, i cant do pri sci science qns. I totally forgot all the physic stuffs there are in Pri school.

What on earth is the difference between a 1st 2nd and 3rd class lever?

Whats the diff between a lever and pully?

Then whats the diff between a fixed and moveable pully (as in how they work)

What is a boulder and a tackel?

Sigh, i look at all the phy qns and i can't do le lor. The only few i know is which direction the gear will turn and how potiential energy changes to kinetic energy.

Someone please teach me >.<

Sigh. PHY SUX.

O their Bio also not easy. I saw a qns requiring them to label the parts of the fish. What dorsal fin la, pectorial fin la blah blah blah blah.

I'm like what???? Fin means fin la. Tail means tail la. At pri level need to know that in depth meh? Hello, SEAB, they are primary school kids who should be running around in the field and not just mugging!!!!

Seriously, a cell and it's DNA is so much more easier to understand >.<

2008-12-08T20:04:00.002+08:00

OMG it has been a wounderful long weekend. Spending it with friends who you have constantly keep in touch with. Friends you know who will be there when you need them. Friends who u know most prob at every stage of your life they will be around.

Not only at happy stages but at stages of your life when you feel so down, they will be there to stand beside you no matter what and telling you that its ok.

I don't have much friends, but with the current handful i have, i'm lucky.

:)

blissful

2008-12-08T00:21:00.003+08:00

I went swimming today. I totally forgot how it felt to be able to be in the water. So ree and relaxed and protected from the surrounding.

I guess after analysing the surrounding, i finally realise why i like swimming. Under the sun, i feel the rays shine on my body, yet its not those burning sensation as your body is cooled by the water. Plus you feel so free to move about and when you are totally submerge in the water, you feel protected from the outside world, a very horrible and selfish place.

In addition, you don't PANT like other forms of exercises.

I must live near to a swimming pool in the furture.

Chunk Fest

2008-12-07T01:39:00.003+08:00

Wooo HOoo went to Chunk Fest today. Yup the very first ice-cream fiesta in singapore organised by non other then Ben & Jerry!

Though its a pity i went there with 3 other non-ice-cream lover. But i'm really glad that they still came. Even though they had to have their shoes dirty with mud and sweat many precious drop of sweat to get the ice-creams.

Then again i'm really touch that they still went with me on seriously damn short notice.

As we went quite late, most flavours were already sold out. There were 12 new flavours which were supposed to be sold on today. And after today, it won't be sold again. Ever Again! YUp so if u missed it now, too bad.

These are the 12 flavours.

1. Butter Pecan
Rich Buttery Ice Cream with Roasted Pecans
If you ask us, this is quite simply the richest, butteriest, most perfectly roasted pecaniest Butter Pecan ice cream in the world.

2. Chocolate Fudge Brownie™ Frozen Yoghurt
Chocolate Low Fat Frozen Yoghurt with Fudge Brownies
Often the subject of a “taste-off” for customers – can you tell the difference between theyoghurt and the ice cream? That’s why we concocted something to easy your
conscience & tickle your tastebuds too! You will be glad to know that this version of ourlegendairy flavor delivers the same great taste but its low fat too! Or as we like to say,less body, more soul….

3. Vanilla HEATH® Bar Crunch
Vanilla Ice Cream with Chunks of HEATH® Bar Crunch
In the early days, Ben and Jerry would buy cases of whole HEATH® Bars, & to make
them into chunks, Jerry would throw them from the top of a six-foot ladder. Now that’s creative! One of the original gas station flavours that lives on.

4. Half Baked®
A crazy concoction of chocolate ice cream & vanilla ice cream mixed with fudge brownies & gobsof chocolate chip cookie dough
For our fans who are madly attracted to both fudge brownies & our dreamy chocolate
chip cookie dough from 2 all time favorites. We have created a unique recipe that tastes doubly euphoric. Now you can enjoy both at the same time. You might say “That’s Whacky!”, we say its Half Baked!

5. Pumpkin Cheesecake
Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream with a Thick Graham Cracker Swirl
This favorite seasonal flavor is only found in selected retail stores in USA for a limited time. And we got it for 1 day only at Chunk Fest!

6. Strawberry Banana Frozen Yoghurt
Strawberry Banana Frozen Yoghurt with Strawberries & a Strawberry Swirl
When it comes to dessert, it's no easy feat to watch what you eat and enjoy eating it
too. That's why we're offering options we think'll tickle your nutritional fancy as well as amaze your tastebuds. Our new Strawberry Banana frozen yoghurt still delivers the same great taste but with less guilt!

7. Triple Caramel Chunk
Caramel Ice Cream with Swirls of Caramel & Fudge-Covered Caramel Chunks
Created to go head-to-head with Haagen-Daz’s Dulce Delicious; died briefly and was
resurrected.

8. Vanilla Chocolate Chunk
Vanilla Ice Cream with Pure Dark Chocolatey Chunks
French vanilla ice cream loaded with chunks of pure chocolate wonder. That this was
the simplest of tastes, there can be no debate. Yet as long as we made it, it always got ate.

9. Vanilla Frozen Yoghurt
Creamy Low Fat Vanilla Frozen Yoghurt
Often the subject of a “taste-off” for customers – can you tell the difference between the yoghurt and the ice cream? That’s why we concocted something to easy your
conscience & tickle your tastebuds too! You will be glad to know that this version of our legendairy flavor delivers the same great taste but its low fat too! Or as we like to say, less body, more soul….

10. Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl
Milk Chocolate Ice Cream with a Thick Peanut Butter Swirl
Love chocolate? Love peanut butter? Then this must be the perfect concoction for you.
Smooth, velvety milk chocolate ice-cream with thick, gooey swirls of peanut butter –
nothing can be better than that!

11. Cinnamon Buns
Caramel Ice Cream with Cinnamon Bun Dough & a Caramel Streusel Swirl
We don’t bake your usual cinnamon buns but try this flavor and each spoonful will make you forget the real deal. The chunks of fiery cinnamon in grainy cinnamon bun dough cooled down by the swirls of caramel running through. You’ll think you were in Heaven.

12. Peanut Butter Cookie Dough
Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream with Gobs of Peanut Butter Cookie Dough & Fudge Chips Combining the best of many worlds is the result of Peanut Butter Cookie Dough – a little bit sweet, a little bit salty, a little bit bitter, a little bit crunchy,a little bit smooth, and a little bit chunky. Ben & Jerry’s must be a mind reader and a genius to have created a miracle ice-cream.

I had the Pumpkin, Cinnamon and Vanila Hearth. It was DAMN GOOD!!!!

A pity other flavours were out :(

I hope they have one next year again. I'll sure be there early!

U wanna come next time?

2008-12-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

I want to blog about people's behaviour which i have observed recently. It was nobody's fault, just that people acted normally and when the rights of each individual clashes, problems arrises and hatred develop. Yet at the end of the day, there was no one whom we could pin point who were right or wrong. For both partries were just doing what they are brought up to do.

It feels weird when things occurs like that. Sometimes when people get fustrated, and they change.

Of course there are also people whom u feel like strangling one moment and next u found out that the person is someone whom you can really talk to.

Strange isnt it?

Growing fat

2008-11-30T22:39:00.003+08:00

OMG,i seriously getting fatter and fatter and fatter, and i cant understand why people keep on insisitng that i'm loosing weight. Its damn obvious i'm gaining can. Anw, thanks to this long weekend i have, i am bound to gain like 2-3kg. Sigh, but at least i'm happy and finally took a break from office work :) Though i still got a call from office. Darn!

Anw, let me start recounting my weight gaining process.

On Fri, i had a super heavy breakfast. Had prata and bread. After which rushed to JE to meet up with S5 clique. And as usual, although i'm late, i'm the first to arrive LOL. We headed to Chinatown, smith street which reminded me of my past experience as a telesurveyor. Soon we arrive at the $10 club to sing KTV.

SO i guess next time cannot say lets go Kbox. Must say lets go 10 club. Yes, it has been awhile since i last sang, and as usual, with ky and pf around, my voice always sound damn low. I know i didn't sing as much as i usually do, but somehow, i didnt, just wanna kuang dian the songs. So i just sang the few songs which i felt connected to recently.

So after the singing, i met up with my dad and my bro to celebrate my bro's b'dae. (i'll try to attened his official party on 5th, but it clashes with the brigade's anniversary, and serisouly if i had to miss his b'dae, i gonna hate myself >.<) SO we walked around pearl centre to look for watches. And all that we saw were really opiang rolex watches. We then headed to OG where my bro settled with a pretty obiang guess watch too. But who cares la, he likes it can le.

Ok, so here comes the fattening part, we went to some italian restraunt to have our dinner. I had this mushroom pizza with damn lot of cheese. OMG the whole plate was cheese. Somehow, although i didn't eat much, i felt damn full. After that, we headed to ben & jerry >.< OMG. I usually have the bowl with 5 scoopes, but i was so full and it felt so sinful, i settled with 2. O yea, they have a new flavour called 7 layer coconut. Not bad, you all should try.

Then my exciting day didn't end just like that. I went to meet CC and lee and yl and westmall mac for a chat. Well, at least for me and yl it was really for a chat though lee and cc had some other agenda. After that yi ling drove us home. And that was end of day1 of fat gaining.

Here comes day 2 -.-

At 1.30pm i headed to westmall to meet up with wei hong and yi long and we headed to ivy's house at 2pm to help prep for the night steamboat.

Yea so we walked to shop & save where we bought most of our stuffs.

I want to let the pics do the talking, so yo can understand why its weight gaining. However the lazy me didn't take any photos and they havent upload photos in their blog about the day. SO after i kope the photos from their blog, i shall come and upload them.

Now comes day 3, the worst of all.

I cabbed to Vis A Vis at bukit timah to meet kt and hy for our cooking class. We learn how to cook cream of mushroom, duck in cherry wine sauce and some dessert( i can't remember the name).

OMG, the Cream of mushroom was heavenly. I'm so willing to throw $100 just to get another bowl. I'm serious. Its one of the nicest soup, no correction, it is the nicest soup i have ever drank in my entire life. THe duck in cherry wine sauce was not bad. Sweet and smooth.though i don't really feel it complements with the duck. But anyway, on the house special, he showed us how we could modify the cherry wine sauce to match it with vanila Ice-cream. Wah this one also damn shoik. It got the same feeling as mac strawberry sundale sauce, just that its much fresher, juicer, sweeter and with a tinch of alcohol :) Soon came our main dessert some egg thingy with strawberry. WAH this one also damn nice. Just that its a pity the strawberry is not those angmo, sweet sweet type. Rather abit sour which makes the dessert a pity. I think the bananna version would have been better.

Anw, here are my scores.

Soup: 10/5 (yes its that good. ten upon 5)
Duck: 3.5/5
Complimentary ice-cream: 4.5/5
Dessert: 4/5
Total:22/20

A very worthy $45 spent.

Ater that i met up with MS FONG. YEAH OMG it has been ages since i've seen her and really i miss her alot.

How is she? Still the same lor. Got give the abit kan ren di (which is me) feeling. But no matter what, she did make some impact in my life and i still want to thank her, although she dun really believe in me.

Yea so she is still the same lady, who keeps talking and talking and talking. However what i find weird is that the one who inspired so many of us (the 10 of us in 4e1) to fall in love with bio and in fact holding on to it even when things got tough is actually discourraging me from doing LIfe-sci in uni. I wounder if she knows that my passion for life sci was actually sparked by her. It like the one who strike the match to burn the log is now pouring water over the fireplace. Nevertheless, i've listen to her arguments why i should not take life-sci, however i have already understand them already and am ready to face those circumstances. So yea i'm still going into the life-sci industry.

SO it was a good talk with MS fong. After which i accompanied keetat to town to go to borders. I wanted to get a planner, but they didn't have the type i want. >.< However keetat got a tarot book and a planner and a horoscpe books which tells a person's character according to their birthday. SO if you wanna know yours, let me know your b'dae and i'll photocopy the page for u. Yes i currently holding the book for him for awhile.

Then i headed back home where i had MUTTON CURRY. My ah gong speciality. OMG.

Then i came here blogging.

O well, i shall start loosing weight from tml.( I thnink i said this in one of my previous entry -,-)

I'm going NSC tml. Wanna do some shopping too. Will be back at office around noon. Then its work again. Hopefully, i can get my fri nights off >.<

I'm praying >.<

Back to Malacca

2008-11-22T23:02:00.002+08:00

After a consistant working till 10+, 11+ for 4 consecutive days, i think i jolly well deserve my good holiday. It isn't exactly a holiday, just that i haven't been overseas for like 2.5 years? The last time was when i just Australia for OUAP when i was in J1. Yea so the sua ku me when reach the Singapore checkpoint, didn't realise that with my new biometric passport, i had to self scan the bar code and scan my thumbprint (though i did hear abit from Jacinta).

In anycase, i was like huh, what going on when i reach the check point. Then my mum had to start explaining the process to me. So i was like ooooooo(you know the kind of sudden enlightened feeling?) at that very moment.

Yea, so we continued our journey via bus to malacca. I guess, 60% of the time was spend on the bus. Accompanied by aunties horrible karaok singing. Nevertheless i still had a very enjoyable moment. Because, i saw so much things this trip.

The first thing that struck me was when we were having breakfast at JB. There was this kid, i think he is like 15 or 16 only, frying you tiao which his dad knit the dough to make the you tio. The first reason why he struck me was because he looked like the younger version of 3SG YongBin -.- The hair la, nose la, eyes, ok maybe abit shorter, but other that that, its like seeing my SG frying you tiao. The 2nd reason was because, i feel like apporaching him and ask him to let me teach me to fry the you tiao and at the same time try to understand how it feels to fry youtiao and see what are the different perspectives he has. ( i Don't know why, but i recently have this intrest in trying to understand how people react to situations and environment around them)

So after breakfast, we took this 3 hours journey to malacca. And the first stop was, LUNCH -.- OMG i feel like a glutton.

Afterwhich, we went to this nonya area where i got to see face to face to try hand made nonya beaded slippers (char kia). I think its pretty cool, epsecially how they make those colour beads into those different embrodiary. Initially we wanted to go to the temple, however my mum said she knew the way so i followed her without waiting for the guide. In the end, we lost our way and had to retrace our steps back to the bus.

After which, it was my favourite itenary of this holiday. IT'S SHOPPING!!! I was so looking forward to buying the red addidas shoe which i saw in s'pore left foot and some 3/4 berms which my mum bought the other time. The shopping theraphy was fun although serisouly, i bought nothing much. I mean i got to see stuffs which were cheaper then those which can be found in spore. Howver if not for size problems i would have bought them.

I seriously think arr, i the most suay person on earth. If not there are really alot of size 38 around in malaysia. I mean i went almost everyshop and they didn't have size 38. They have 40 and 36 -,- I tried 40, too big cos it will drop when i let go. I tried 36 and it fits my hips, but too tight on my thigh. So in the end i didn't even buy any 3/4. Though i saw one and till now, i'm still thinking about it. It was a stussy 3/4 which cost 79RM, RM mind you not Spore dollar. However they only had size 28 and 30 --.- I really totoally sian diaoz.

THen again, at least i think i found the black jeans i want to buy. Ehh, where is the nearest Timberlnd store from Bukit Batok?

So at the end of the shopping theraphy i only got a very very simple belt from FOS. O well, although i didn't gain any materalistic things, i get to forget all those enornamous workload from camp. So it was good. O btw, have anynoe heard of this brand called F Timber? My mum is falling crazy in love with this brand's bag.

SO after shopping, we headed to this "pasarmalam" area. Bought lots and lots of vadeh to eat. I simply cannit resist vadeh :) O yeah and Kwej Pai Tee too.

So after my Massive eating, the next stop we went was DINNER! I cant believe it man. I kept eating the whole day lar. Bound to gain weight. SO yea we had dinner and we went to this YOYO shop to buy tibits (a must for me when i go malaysia)

However, everything was on a super ripped off price la. They mark up the price untill super jia lat, then i super sian diaoz -.- O well, but i still bought quite alot of things. But untill 60+RM.

Then it was time to head back home :)

O well, after gaining so muhc weight, i guess i should go downstars and start jogging. I mean for 1 whole week, i only jogged once for like 2km? YEah super unhealthy can. Yeah so i guess i shall go jogging now.

till nxt time :)

2008-11-18T21:58:00.002+08:00

I feel like bitching about someone, yet i can officially bitch about that person because of people who are going to read my blog. As the people who reads my blog will directly know who i'm refering to and it makes life diffculite for u me and everyone.

I was on the verge of rolling my eyes (like what Kim Yien always use to do), and started bitching about every small single aspec of the thigns happening. Thank goodness i contorlled.

Just because at times i smile and act stupid or simply do things which people think are crazy and not worth it, it dosent mean you can just start stepping over me. Don't step on a dog's tails because it will bite back <--- I'm sure the person who i want to bitch about will understand this. If you are going to say something like, o are you trying to say you are a dog on my Cbox, you are really the dumbest person on earth, bascially because you can't even feel the anger i have for you through the actions i'm showing.

Serisouly i was on the verge to switching to my viperous mode. the kind every comments equals to yi dao jian xue type.

Don't step on me.

You never truely understand someone untill you crawl into his skin and walk around with it.

Yes, i mock at people who i don't understand, but, i do it once to vent my fustration(you jolly well know better) then i let them go. Do you? Or do you just step all over that person?

Ok, I feel so much better now....

Starting from Scratch

2008-11-16T00:21:00.002+08:00

My data is all gone. My past few weeks of hardwork is gone and i have to start everything from scratch. In addition, the nearing deadline is not really helping.

I have data for brigade comander conference to prepare. Newsletter to be done, prepare BSM information and mointer the course nominations.

Haiz. I was still using my upperstudy's account after he ORD for mine was not ready. However, on beautiful Thurs morning, my upperstudy account has been disabled along with all my data. Yes, so everything is gone.

Thanks goodness i have done filing on tues. If not, there is no evidence for backup at all for all the work i have done. Sigh.

The deadline for the conference is on coming tues. I highly doubt i can finish it. But i'll try. I mean, on fri when i was duty clerk, somehow i manage to churn out 80% of the stuffs i did plus wat my upper study prep before he left. SO pretty proud of myself.

I'm going to work like crazy on mon. Most prob have to au ye again. Hopefully the coms there don't fail me.

Wish me luck guys.

I find something is really strange though. In the past if i were to face such a situation, i would panic like crazy and start screaming and bossying around. I seem rather calm this time. Too clam...

Smoking in Lift

2008-11-12T20:40:00.002+08:00

I just can't understand why people have to light their cigarette just before they enter the lift. Seriously what difference does it make from smoking in the lift? Even though you don't puff or anyhting.

Smoking is banned in lift because it is a confined area. Thus the smoke you generate can easily choke people to death. Look, even if you dun puff, a lit cigarette also generates smoke. Which by Brownian motion, the smoke particles moves in a random motion. Which means, i still can inhale those horrible smoke carcinogenic smoke particles.

I don't care if you smoke till you die, BUT Please, i don't wanna die of lung cancer!

2008-11-08T20:22:00.002+08:00

It's the 8th of nov. The month is wrong, but the day is right. Yea, it has been 15 months.

I was chatting with Herrick and I cant believe I actually told him something which deep down I know I myself have yet to completely manage to acheive. Especially after rewatching the recent episode of ugly bettey.

Issues on how we move on with our diffculities and problems. We know that there are certain things which we never forget, no matter how much we try to get on with our lives again.

Yes, i deliberately took this route home to went back to that exact same spot again. The very same stop where I collapsed after running 3 rounds. Facing the exact same condo Hillview Regency, i sat down. I looked at the traffic. Maybe it was still early thats why the traffic was quite busy. The pain came, accompanied with numbness. I guess it is still some form of improvements I guess.

Haiz, shall go jogging later. Hopefully it helps to clear things up.

Especially now, need to clear my head to really decid what i want to commit on.

2008-11-08T03:44:00.002+08:00

When one puts too much trust and love in something, once its gone, the break is stronger and the pain lasts longer.

I'm lucky to find grounds which i know dosen't shake (hopefully)....

2008-11-08T02:21:00.002+08:00

I feel like doing volunteering work. I think i wanna find an organisation where by i can open my eyes. Truely see people who are in need. Learn from their life experiences. No need to travel overseas and see those poor children or families suffer. Doing voluntery work in singapore would do.

I initially wanted to join the red cross society. Just keep calling people to donate blood. Then the blood bank would have sufficient blood. However after watching Bufan de ai, i think walking around asking people to donate blood is a pretty non-meaningful voluntery work. I don't mean we don't help people, but it does not directly help enhance someone's live. Yea donating blood does help save lives, however i feel that the voluntering work which i should be doing is those with direct interaction with those who are really in need.

They might not be in need of help which may affect their life and death. However it is help which makes their lives more meaningful, help which gives them hope, help which makes them happy with a smile which they require.

Ken arr, you remember telling me that you wanna widen your social circle by going clubbing? Serisouly why would you want to meet the type who keeps going clubbing?

I don't think i would go with you. I know it's very weird especially for a guy who is already 19 and haven't gone clubbing. But srisouly what kind of people do you think you will meet there. Sure you might have that 5 mins of fun, but it may result in a lifetime of regreat. Especially someone who like their steak raw.

Ai ya, I don't know la. Anw, i was thinking of joinging this organisation which helps people who wants to commit suicide. People who ops for passive euthanesia (by choosing not to be warded in ICU) Yea, i know i'm gonna get emo, SUPER EMO, if people i talk to decideds to end their lives even though i have talk to them. However i feel that i can learn alot of things from those visits.

I've been through a few house visits. Of which i learnt so much things. I had such a strong mixture of feelings. Which taught me so many things. Showed me so much perspectives. Made me understand the shades of grey and that no one in live really wanna choose the bad way.

I have 1 year plus left for my national service. I hope to put it to good use. Anyone wanna expand your social circle with my way?

Driving

2008-11-05T19:24:00.002+08:00

Going to learn driving. WWWWWWwwwWWWwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What are the rates arr to learn private???

2008-11-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

You want to buy guard duty for $200?!?!

NO!!!!

I doubt you will pay anyway.......

plus i got plans!

Jealousy

2008-10-29T18:10:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt this way before? Not the type of BGR kind of things. That one is OUCH OUCH OUCH Pain.

Rather is like you see someone doing something very normal and happy. And you do feel glad for that person, howver you know you just can never lead that kind of life.

Deep down you know you are never going to experience such kind of joy.

Deep down you know the only way you can fill that emptiness is to just continue living and moving foward.

Then suddenly you just have an affection for that person who experiences those joy which you never could.

Why?

Georgie what hormones are responsible for this "feelings"???

2008-10-29T17:36:00.002+08:00

Hello, here i am now bitching again with things which happened in my life. Well, i can't exactly say anything now, cos investigations are still on going and what i want to say will tarnish the reputation. So i shall only bitch about 1 of the 2 things in a very weird way. haha.

OK, here is the story. Picture everything is happening in a HOSTEL.

One fine day when the security guard was doing his DUTY as usual. Hoping nothing happens, just the usual calls asking for the transferring of calls to respective places. Then suddenly 2 external contractor came and started asking to draw some keys for a room which a student live in.

So the guard said, o that room key u have to go to the hostel department to draw the spare key. Since the guard's Room is just next to that department, the guard decided to be nice and go over and say hi and that they want to draw this key for this hostel room.

Immediately the only personnel of the department said, o, i dont have the key. Guard guard, call your boss and ask him.

The guard was confuse but decided to call his boss anyway. The boss said he didn't know either. The guard was pretty sure that the key for that room was in the hostel department so he went back and clarify with that personnel.

Then the personnel said, o YES YES. Can you Please draw the keys to open my department key press and pass them the keys?

The guard thought the personnel was busy working (like real) so he decided the help the personnel.

The guard went to draw the hostel department key (which the personnel should have drawn first thing in the morning)and open the key press to pass the keys to the external agents.

However, having passed the keys to external agents, there was a column for the person issuing the key to sign. SO the guard reminded the personnel from the branch to sign.

However, the personnel said, no I'm not suppose to sign because guard you are the one who issued the key.

They guard eye's popped wide opened.

OK. End of story. I'm not bitching about the personnel in the story nor am i bitching about the guard or the external agents, but the system.

I mean seriously, if a key is taken from a particular department, shouldn't the person signing at the person issuing the key column be the one from that department who keeps the key?

It doesn't make sense to me why someone from another department should be the one who sign the column as the one issuing the key just because he physically does so.

Yeah theoretically the guard was the one issuing the key but, it is illogical for him to sign for it because he is not in charge of the key. If some one is not in the department then ok, the guard signs. But if a personnel is in that department, won't it be better if the personnel sign out for it.

I mean in a hostel where safety and confidentially of the students is of the up most importance? Shouldn't the department want to keep track of their own keys themselves?

Or wait, is the system trying to promote, yeah i'm in charge. But he he he he he(starts pointing everyone) issues it and has nothing to do with me.

Paris Hilton for president? Die la, I better move to Mars

2008-10-27T13:20:00.004+08:00

Ok, time to clear somethings up. Maybe alot of people didn't know or maybe some of you know already, or some of you are confuse by it. But Paris Hilton is running for FAKE presidency (Thank Goodness).

I can't imagine if she is going to run for presidency. Seriously i just can't understand why people would want to vote for her (although clar and yh wants to -.-). Anyway, paris started going crazy about wanting to run for presient after the Ads release by McCain compared her with Obama and tried to picturing Obama as bimbotic as her.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Yea so this was her video response. I would like to highlight that she was actually quite smart in attacking back McCain. After that for the rest of the video, it was pretty obvious it was rehersed and not originally her idea.

she said something like,

“He's the oldest celebrity in the world. Like, super old. Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin, and beer was served in a bucket. But is he ready to lead!”

I think the part about her saying "Only I'm not from the olden days" is actually quite smart and funny. Because it was a damn nice attack at McCain. Showing how his aging might his physically and metal ability to lead america.

However she ended by saying i'm just hot, which assured me that she was normal being her bimbotic self. I mean seriously, if you want to run for president what has it got to with whether you are hot or not? PLus take a look around, have you seen any president which looks hot?

It would have been much better if she said something like i'm rich so i can buy you everything or i'm rich i get get the best people to save America.

SHe also mention about adopting both McCain and Obama strategy to help solve the energy problem. I was expecting her to suggest, lets use the sun and sun the cars, because its the source of all energry right?

Luckily she decided to be a smart alex and suggest adopting both policies. However serisouly can America afford both methods at once? Even if ok your daddy say "ok babay u can use our money to build those plant" would your dad offer those energy to the people at a cheap rate and make a loss?

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Paris then came out with another video. Seeking advise from Martin Sheen (an actor who had many political acting roles). Although she did mention sensible things like solving the problem in iraq by pulling out the trrops and lowering intrest rates to help middle income people, they are still quite flawed.

I wounder if she paid people to think of the solutions or she thought of them herselves, nevertheless, i hope she does realise that her 2 solutions might result in many complications. For instance, to pull out the troops in iraq, shw just cant say, hey boys lets leave and go home and all soliders leave at the same time. FOr this will cause a social chaos in Iraq. For crime rates will increase and especially informers during the war period might get hell and terrorist group might just reform again.

Regarding her idea of lowering of intrest rates to help people settle their debts or increase consumption to boost growth, this actually means that banks have increase their supply of money (and they cant just print cos they might not have gold to di ya) and would further widen America's deficit (which btw, the figure has 13 digits and caused it to ran out of space on the Times Square's National Debt Clock).

However thank goodness she is just running for FAKE presidency. So she would ne ver be the real one :)

Clarence, YuHeng and I were discussing about what is going to happen if she were to win the elections and really become the president. OMG i think i would rather move to Mars, Chances of survival are much higher there. Or just stay on earth and laugh at her silly moves to death.

Clarence was saying she would make everyone lead a smiple life and we started talking about making P for the sign to GO and H for STOP. SHe would make the earth pink instead of green.

I then thought she might just use this oppournity to promote her "Brand" Paris Hilton. Maybe to help improve living standards she would give all children from the lower income group a free paris hilton school bag or give single mothers a lifetime supply of her perfume if they remain single.

O well, she recently release her new music video called for PARIS for PRESIDENT.

http://www.swaghousemedia.com/main.html

I started laughing when i heard it.

LOL.... Shall wait for it to be on youtube and with lyrics, i would start bitching about it.. LOL

2008-10-21T21:34:00.002+08:00

I should faster blog, so most prob, from now on, i'm gonna blog rubbish so that i can reach the 200th post next year. Yeah so 2009 010109, would be my 200th post and it will be reserve for that some1 special. I'm already planning about what to blog.

Anyway, i just finish doing my work. Sign, design invitation card. I give myself 6.5/10 -.- Haiz, what to do, last min drop this kinda arrow at me.

PLus i have to complete my newsletter b4 my boss comes back. Hopes everything goes well.

O yea i have a question to ask. Why are parents so afriad of tuition teachers? Not like i'm gonna eat them or something.

I called kaixin house earlier and her dad picked up the phone. He said she went to the library and said sorry like i dun know how many times. I'm like huh? why must u be sorry?

Anw, i know her end of year marks for chem le. she got 48.5 -.- 1.5 marks more to pass. but luckily she pass her math, eng and chi. so still can promote. Sad that overall she fail, but also quite glad after i did some calculation.

I only started tuitoring her to prep her for her final year paper, so her grades b4 that were not controlled by me. Anyway, i calculaed that from her past papers (which makes 55% of your end of year marks), she got 14.38/55.

So for the final grade to have 48.5, via calculation, she have scored 75.93..... for her final paper! WOOT A1!!!!!!

Yay, quite happy cos i felt i've done an impossible task. F9 to A1 in less than 10 hours. Wah..... Pro sia... but partly cos she smart also la... haha now that she has her content, have to work on her answering le :)

O yea i need another tuition kid. Cos with a tuition kid it means, less time to play which results in lesser $ spend + extra pay, which gives me extra savings :)

Anyone can intro tuition kid to me? I charge cheap cheap one... unless u super rich then i charge mkt rate... LOL

2008-10-16T20:38:00.002+08:00

1 more week b4 my boss comes back. Sigh, and i havent started on his assignment. Die le la... Somemore i going house visiting again tomorrow. Argghhh who cares la, not very intrested in making a newsletter anyway.

He kind of imply to me the other time that he didn't want to send me to brunei. SO i guess i will be stuck in s'pore for the remaining 1 year plus of my army life. Worst still, doing this newsletter which most prob help him in his promotion but teaches me nothing. Sigh, can i do something else?

I saw alot of things during the 2 house visits i went. I have an idea, a challenging task in mind. I will ask him if i could carry on with my plan once he returns. However chances are slim, cos most prob what i wanna do can't help much in his promotion >.<

I'm really wasting my 2 years in the army >.< Teach me something usefull leh...

2008-10-12T20:59:00.002+08:00

I LOVE S.H.E :)

Hey go listen to their new album, vry nice.

Esp, 沿海公路的出口, 天亮了, 安静了, 612星球, 月光手札.

An album containing 5 power songs. I think its very good le :)

once again, I LOVE S.H.E

Kbox anyone????

Edited

2008-10-10T17:15:00.003+08:00

I cant this stupid guy anymore. Maybe i'll feel better after i blog about this. actually i'm already feeling better la cos he got fucked earlier on. SO he finally got off the i net and decided to do his only task. And he has till nxt fri to complete it. -.-

Anyway i can't stand him ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz he made me so mad eversince last night. Actually it started when i first met him. He's a werido la. Especially the way he laughs. is like..... ok..... and his logic is also..... YEA (for those i have told you about the guy going back to his sch to tok to his juniors? yea its the same guy now u understand my pain?)

So we both started on the wrong foot already. However i taking a neutral stand with him. So ok, when he pokes me a little, with his NOT FUNNY jokes (they are not even lame mind u, so Jonathen's jokes are even better then his) i will just try to laugh and smile abit la. Trying not to be mean. BUt the horror started last night.

I was reading the book Times Travellors's Wife, when the received an sms. He then talk to me.

Hey can u go downstairs and stand in for the duty clerk. then i replied with a huh??

Then he said, i cant go down because i'm playing my psp. I'm like WHAT???!!!!!

However i decided to be nice and go down. Then he gave his irritating laugh and said sorry arr, have to play psp so cant go down.

Then i replied him, why an't you wear an admin tee and go down with yr psp and stand in? I started at him then he immediately gave the i dont understand what u are saying look (does ppl from this sch like to act blur when stun with words?) Then i just walk out of the room and went to stand in for the duty clerk.

SO guess what i waited from 9.45 to 11.45. 2 HOURS!!!!! With my book up there and everything. He didnt bother to come down to pass me my book, nvm. He didnt bother to call or come down to take over because i was down for very long nvm. However what irk me was what hapened when i went up the bunk.

So i went up the bunk, he was sleeping. (nvm he tired slp lor.) So i didnt on the lights, just took my tothpaste and bruch to brush my teeth in the toilet. I came back, wanted to open my cupboard, but couldent see the lock. He was wake le, i guess i woke him up. Seeing that he is awake and only another guy is sleeping and he is not affected when i switch on the light (cos he quite far from us) i switch on the light between me and him. The he gave this TSK at me.

I WAS LIKE WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I almost wanted to throw the table beside me at him.

Yea i know its irritating that i on the light! BUT, why did i even have to do that? U ask em to go down, u ask me to stand in, now i'm just want to open my cupboard. Worst of all, u didnt mention its going too take 2 hours!!!!!!!! I could have brought my book or phone or anyhting down to help pass that 2 hours! Furthermore, if within that 2 hours, i come up and u are still playing your psp, fine. You stand by your argument. U are playing u can't stand in. So its normal. BUT U ARE SLEEPING!!!! DID you even remember i was helping you to help another guy stand in!!!!!!!! Or were you some selfish idoit who just went to slp after feeling tired from playing yr psp?

Seriously, if u didnt want to help the duty clerk stand in, why even agree to help him. Bloody idoit. Agree to help ppl, but send someone down.

Darn, you. Seriously, if you cant do what ppl ask you to, do say yes. If u do say yes, do it yourself or atleast even tell the other person the details of the task.

ok, the nxt feel arguments are going to be bias, but they are also stuffs which adds up to why i hate him.

He's snobbish. So what if you got straight As? I got it to! AND HELLO!!!!! if u are really that good, with yr straight As u shld be a 3sg not some lcp.

his uniform sows a cpl badge when he is a lcp.

He is on excuse uniform (we speculate he got it inorder not to remove the cpl rank) however tos iam arrows today, he wore his uniform to go 4 an attach out.

He told me he was doing officer work with the internet when i told him to clear the strong room. But 5 mins later after an officer told him to do so, he immediately went to clean it. guess what was he doing on with the internet?

Searchign for gundamn related stuffs.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz FUCK YOU LA, JUST ORD PLZ!

2008-10-07T19:08:00.004+08:00

Have you guys watched the house bunny?

Anna Faris maybe the biggest bimbo especially in that movie, however she has the smartest lines.

Till now i still can't forget it.

It goes like this.

It's like a meteor. I really mean meteor.Because a meteor burns as it passes by. And we people who looks at it and feels its buring flame beauty. Yet when it finish burning, and crumble to ashes and loses it's beauty, people forget about them. The only thing they remember is whether they made a wish or not.

I think it goes something like this. I feel that this is very meaningfull because it tells us an exact truth that outer beauty can never last forever. For one would definitely loose it some day.

After which she went on saying about how zelta is not going to treat people like meteors. Look at their beauty and appreciate them when they are beautiful only. TO zelta, what is more important is friendship and relationship between them. SO even one day when you become old and ugly like a burned out meteor, u will still have zelta whereby your friends will support you and be with you.

Another smart line she has. Comparing to the meteors, only the astrologist would remember the meteors and understand their beauty all the way even if they become ugly dirty black burnt sands. Relating to life, it is just as important to have people , company, friends, family with the same relationship as the one between the meteor and the astrologist. Where by no matter what you become the astrologist will still be there to look at you and understand you.

I'm glad i'm an astrologist studying a few meteors in my life already :) ANd i'm even happier that there are many astrologist who feels i'm one of their meteor to study.

Yet when will my star arrive??? I know i'm selfish >.<

Mood Swing

2008-10-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

5 mins ago i was laughing my heart out and now i'm crying.... How do we get rid of mood swings?

When will i find my computer?

2008-10-04T01:17:00.005+08:00

OMG, cobra challenge had a little screwed up this morning and it is all thanks to me. Haiz, i'm gonna get screwed real hard on mon during the AAR. I think I'm going to sign like 100 extra. Whatever la, I did most of the sai kang anyway, so they wanna give me then give lor. but i wount forget it.

O yea so today feeling famish for not having breakfast and lunch, i went to KFC to eat. After which i was walking past an external outside westmall, and ther was this jap lady selling this!!!!

SHe said buy 3 get 1 free. I immediately bought 6 and got 2 free! yeah.

For those who are woundering what is it, it is the pancake which doreamon and shin chan eats during their cartoon shows.

YEAH it is READBEAN pancake!

Damn nice sia, the fish one was red bean and the bear bear one was chocolate. Chocolate not that nice but the red bean was magnificant. COuld taste the bean itself. Yummy!!!

O yea after that went over to yuheng house where he cooked dinner for us. There were garlic bread, ceral prawns, chicken, chicken drumlets (look like the KFC one) and chawamushi.

After dinner we played uno stacko and i kind of topple it alot of times. Nest we played Life and i was the poorest. Wah, i was the poorest doctor la can.... Can't believe it.

We also had Red Wine which Lee brought, they thought i was drunk, but i'm not, just red, thats all...

YEa after that arr, tried to catch the last train and bus home, but we failed, so cab back home. TMl we gonna KBOX!!!!! FINALLY la

2008-10-01T20:51:00.002+08:00

OMG, it feels so damn good man. Your very first pay cheque. Actually it is not really my first la, cos i work in taka, and research plus before. However this paycheque is very important to me because i felt i've done the impossible. Which is to complete half of her chemistry syllabus in 10 hours. Yea, and i did it in less then 10 :)

although she is still abit slow, but shhe has made remarkable imrovements la. She says she wants to drop physics, so she didn't do her phy paper. She just submit a blankpaper up -.-

O well, lets hope she can get an A so as to make up for her grades from her past test. PLus not forgetting may she pass her eng and e-math and get promoted. OMG i feel like i'm back in sec 3 again-.-

Anw, just very happy that i got my first pay. This also means that this sat i can go KBOX lo :) WHHHEEEEE It feels so weird that he is actually the one jioing me to go kbox, but whatever, as long as i can sing. who cares :) HEHE

KBOX here i come :)

Sian tml is cobra challenge and i have no info on it at all zzzzzz